Girls, Maybe I Should Play Miss Lucy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, there is news from the Rialto, and one item is that James Franco, Mr. "127 Hours" himself, has withdrawn from his plan to star next season on Broadway as Chance Wayne in the Tennessee Williams classic, "Sweet Bird Of Youth." This is a tremendous loss, girls, because James is such a wonderful actor, not to mention someone to ogle, and wouldn't we love to have ogled him aplenty as Chance???????

The reason given is academics; workaholic actor Franco is also pursuing a graduate degree in English Literature at that most prestigious institution of higher learning, Yale, and so had to bow out of the production. Not so the Princess Kosmonopolis, who is to played by that Princess of Botox, Nicole Kidman. Honestly, who does she think she is? One nude cameo in a David Hare play, and she thinks she can take on a role originated by the great Geraldine Page???? She isn't fit to polish Miss Page's shoes, loves!!!!!!!!! Also, Nicole can barely cut it on film, what makes her think she can do the stage???? Now, if you want to get a REAL Princess, why not call Meryl????? Hell, I bet Franco would put his dissertation on hold, if he heard that one!!!!!!! Maybe he wisely did not want to appear with Nicole as the Princess.

Now, as an actress, darlings, I could certainly do the Princess, except I am too youthful looking and vital to be convincing. The character is basically a washed up, neurotic, wasted in mind and body, suicidal actress. A great challenge, no doubt, and I could really nail the scene where she gets the call from Walter Winchell that they want her for a comeback, whereupon she dumps Chance like the proverbial hot potato. But I think the role I am more suited to is Boss Finley's mistress, Miss Lucy, originated onstage, and done on screen, too, by the great character actress, Madeline Sherwood, long before her Mother Superior "Flying Nun" days. Had she done it while alive, I can think of no better Miss Lucy than the great Rue McClanahan; hell, she was practically playing it on "The Golden Girls." If you played Blanche Devereaux straight, instead of for laughs, there you would have Miss Lucy!!!!!!!!!!

She inspires one of Tennessee Williams' best lines in the show, which, in the film, is not spoken, but written on the a bathroom mirror--"Boss Finley can't cut the mustard!!!!!" At this point, I would have to do a careful rereading, girls, to see if that line is spoken; if not, forgive me, Tennessee, I might improvise it into the action.

So, while Franco is bowing out let us get rid of Nicole Kidman!!! Who might be next, for Chance--Tobey Maguire???? Jake Gyllenhaal???? Ryan Gosling???? How about James Macavoy?????
Actually, I think Ryan would be great, but he deserves a better Princess than Nicole.
How about Annette Benning????? Or Blythe Danner???? I am surprised the egocentric Kathleen Turner has not stepped up to offer herself!!!!! Let's see; one more; how about Cate Blanchett???? Better choices than Nicole, darling, and I would be proud to play Miss Lucy alongside any of these Princesses and Chances.

"Sweet Bird Of Youth" should really work onstage. But it needs to be cast properly. Ditch the over-exposed Kidman, and use one of my choices, darlings!!!!!!! Once again, I am preaching to the choir; who, beside my girls, listens to me, anyway???????????

But mark my words, honey; if this 'Sweet Bird' is not done right, it will fly right out the window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!