Darlings, This Play Was SO Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It really is, girls, honest!  If the fact were stripped away that this play were all about Sue Mengers, Hollywood's Super-Agent of the Seventies, this pretty much represents what you get when you come to my place.

                                 Instead of a couch, I sit on a plush arm chair, with an ottoman, because I wouldn't dream of not having one, and, while Monsieur scrounges around for chips or drinks, and then whips up a scrumptious meal, I bitch and bitch for hours on end.

                                   Regarding this play, the bitching goes on for about 90 minutes, and Bette does do a beautiful job.  I only wish playwright John Logan, who wrote the highly acclaimed "Red," (which I admit I did not see, but everyone who did seemed to go crazy over it!!!!!!!!!) had dug a little deeper.  At one point, Sue says, "Elton John is such a great dinner guest.  He will eat anything...but pussy!!!!!!!!"  Oh, come on, darlings, who doesn't know that????????  You don't have to be some kind of insider to deduce that.  And, yes, we all know about Diana Ross giving Berry Gordy blow jobs in the back seat!!!!!!!!  How else do you think she back stabbed Florence Ballard, and became the lead singer of The Supremes?????????   You sure don't get that from "Dreamgirls," dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    How about exploring more of the Warren Beatty myth?  Like, who does she think the inspiration for "You're So Vain" is???????  Things like that, which are known, but not specifically, had they been explored, would have made for a much more interesting play.

                                     Fortunately, Bette is a compelling enough personality to hold an audience's focus for this duration--and seated on a couch, no less!!!!!!!!--even if the play is not as stellar as she herself is!!!!!!!!!!

                                       This is one play where the less you know, the more of an advantage you have!  Still, there is no denying that, with Bette at the helm, "I'll Eat You Last" is much more enjoyable than it should be!  I would love to step into the role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Come to think of it, visit me, anytime, and you can see the same thing for free!!!!!
With drinks and a meal besides!!!!!!!!!!!  Added to which, I will bitch very specifically about very specific people Sue does not even cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But that is for later. Too bad this play closed so soon--it was a limited run!!!--I would love to have seen it run indefinitely, and see who might have stepped in for Better afterwards!!!!!!!!!
And it is too DAMN bad Bette was not nominated for a TONY Award!!!!!!!!!!  What is wrong with those people?????????  Are they still a bunch of old gasbags, like the coven in "Rosemary's Baby????????"  Or are they all enslaved by the Madam Satan of New York Theater itself, Diane Paulus???????????????
Who can tell???????????

                                             A good time was had by all.  Just like one of Sue's parties!  Which, hard to believe, I never went to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I am making up for it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               As Sue herself might say, "Good Night, kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"