Why Go To Italy, Darlings, When You Can Go To Coney Island????????????

                             Girls, I am about to save you some money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              If one of the reasons you are going to spend thousands of dollars to travel across the Atlantic to Italy is to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa........fugeddaboutit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               This week, it was discovered that Coney Island's famed Astroland Tower, has been swaying and buckling in the breeze!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you imagine????????  So, save your pennies, dolls, because why go to Pisa, when you can get the same thing at Coney????????  Though, at least in Pisa, you don't have to worry about the damn thing toppling over!

                                Did you know the Astroland Tower is 50 years old???????  Which means it has been around since 1963???????  Could have fooled me, dolls!!!!!!!  Or that it has been out of operation since 2008??????  Between 1990 and then, I took many a ride on it; it was tame enough that I never worried about height or speed, and the circumferential view one would get of the surrounding area was breathtaking!!!!!!!!  Only, don't try and do Julie's "Sound Of Music" twirl!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Years ago, one feared for one's life at Coney, because of gangs!!!!!!!!!!  Now it is the possibility of the Astroland Tower toppling over onto people, like the Last Days of Pompeii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 But, as Alfred E. Newman of MAD Magazine, used to say, "What, me worry?"

                                 Yeah, right!  ME, not worry??????  Come on; you know me better than that!

                                  Still I am not going to let a little thing like the tower stop me from going to Coney!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   I mean, darlings, I have survived almost 30 years in this town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What's a tower, next to navigating New York??????????????????