Darlings, This Would Make The Greatest Stage Adaptation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Whether Off-Broadway, Off-Off, or The Fringe Festival, the 1973 movie "The Baby" is just ripe for transplanting to the stage.  Now, some of the older of my girls may remember this glorious piece of trash, which used to be shown, seemingly, all the time, on WOR-Channel 9, here in New York, back from, about, the mid-Seventies to mid-Eighties.  It starred Ruth Roman, (in what had to be one of her last screen appearances) a then up-and-comer by the name of Anjanette Comer (where did she ever go), and an unknown actor, who never went anywhere, named David Manzy, as Baby.

                                           Anjanette plays a recently widowed social worker, who lost her husband, in a terrible car accident.  Back on the job, she gets  assigned to the Wadsworth family--Mrs. Wadsworth, (Ruth Roman), her two daughters, Germaine (Marianna Hill) and Alba (Suzanne Zenor), both of whom perform their roles looking as though they would have been better off auditioning for the role of Magenta in "The Rocky Horror Show!!!!!!!!!"  Suzanne steals the show, in the scene where she is calling for her now vanished sister--"Germaine????  Germaine????," she hisses!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a hoot, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            The other member of the Wadsworth clan is Baby, a grown man with the mind
and bodily needs of an infant, played by an adult actor, David Manzy, and kept in an adult crib.   Anjanette, as social worker Ann Gentry, develops great empathy with Baby, which other social workers have failed to do, and seems fairly able to handle the crazy Wadsworth women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ann would seem to be the sanest of the bunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              But, in a film such as this, nothing is what it seems.  Ann's devotion to Baby transitions into the obsessive, to the point where she feels he should be removed from the crazy Wadsworths.  The girls have an almost incestuous relationship with Baby, and each other, Mrs. Wadsworth is a drunk, and abuses Baby, both verbally, and by having over protected him, ever since her husband (can you blame him????) walked out on them all.  I am telling you, this is Freud 101!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Ann, meanwhile, enlists the aid of her husband's mother, Judith, to try and take Baby from the Wadsworths.  This involves both groups going after one another, with Ann and Judith killing all the Wadsworths!!!!!!!!!!!  Finally, the reason for all this is revealed.

                                                Now, if you want to just see the film and experience it, don't go further in this post, because I am going to explain.  If you do, remember I warned you!

                                                "The Baby" (which, can you believe, darlings, is 40 years old, this year!!!!!!!!!!) has one of those twist endings which I did not see coming on my first viewing, but, as I watch it again each time, of course, it makes perfect sense.

                                                   As I said, Ann lost her husband in a terrible car accident.  And she feels incredible guilt, as she was the driver, when it happened.  We see her bring Baby home, and take him out to the pool where we discover--

                                                     There is another "Baby" in the pool, floating in a tube.  It turns out to be Ann's husband, who survived the accident, but was reduced to an infantile state permanently!!!!!!! So, now the two "Babies" have each other!!!!!!!!! And Ann has her two "boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                        Now, how brilliant and sick is that?  Even if you read ahead, you have just got to see this simply fabulous piece of trash to believe it for yourself!

                                                          But, I am telling you, this show demands to be transplanted to the stage.  I am just dying to play the role of daughter Alba; there are any number of hunky Equity actors who would be all too willing to be encased in diapers for two hours, and act infantile, for a pay check, as eitther Baby or Hubby!!!!!!!!!  Hey, it beats Home Depot!!!!!!!!!!!  As for Mrs. Wadsworth, take your pick--Charles Busch, Varla Jean Merman, Harvey Fierstein, or how about Patrick Stewart, or a wigged out Anthony Hopkins??????????  How about
Jane Horrocks, who played Bubbles on "Absolutely Fabulous" as Judith, the mother-in-law, or Julia Sawalha, Saffron herself, as Germaine??????????  Even if one goes with a virtually unknown cast, this camp howler could revive now defunct groups like The Glines or The Ridiculous Theater Company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         "The Baby" could be the biggest camp howler to hit the stage, since "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" first hit the movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            Go for it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!