Darlings, It Is Time To Talk About Men!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, it is not easy--trudging in cubicleland all day, coming home and having to cook, even if there is no one to cook for. Darlings, I have my found MY OWN personal Julie Powell project--I am simply going to cook something on my own for myself every night! And 365 days later=--voila!--beef bourgenon with Amy Adams!

Wish I could be as inspired with men. What with my little hamentaschen pining away for someone in Boston who does not even given two shits about HIM, while someone local--ie; ME--cares a lot for him; a handsome professional who is so coy or hard to get or whatever, daring me to be Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction," which I refuse to play, because hell, I do not look good in a perm. Neither did Robert Reed, but I guess that was his way of letting everyone know about him on "The Brady Bunch!" Then of course there are these aberrant Bottoms who see in me something they want and then ask ME to dominate them. Darlings, my idea of domination is getting someone to do my laundry, groceries or cleaming my apartment. Now THAT would be worth having a slave for!!!!

Why can't I meet a nice normal man, like Amy Adams? I mean, not that Amy Adams is a man, darlings, just that her fiance is so nice and normal. But, being straight, he can't tell her what dress to wear for their evening out--just that she looks great in it!!!! Which of course she does!

If only I could look as good in one of Amy's dresses. Girls, it all goes back to when my parents gave me the Debbie Reynolds Dress Designer Kit from Colorforms. This was Debbie during her "Tammy" period and you got to dress her in fabulous outfits, and didn't I have a flair for that, darlings! So instead of sending me to a Beauty Academy, my parents insisted on a baseball motif bedroom! Sweethearts, I am telling you, who were THEY kidding????

Having a man to greet me at the door with a glass of wine or a gimlet or something. To open the wine bottle, which I have no idea how to do!!!!! Darlings, men are good for all sorts of things beside sex? You think I want a man for sex? Honey, that ambition vanished twenty years ago!
I just want a MAN to have someone so nice to come home to!!!!!!

So, darlings, if you know of anyone, send them my way!!!! Or maybe I should wait till
I have some cooking techniques under my belt!

Ta ta, girls!!!!!!!!!!!