Darlings, Do You Think It's All "What's The Matter With Helen?"

I am talking, of course, about my life, darlings, which, like everyone else, has its own peaks and valleys, even if I am more brilliant and fabulous than anyone else. To which, girls, I just HAVE to give you a full report of Saturday night, when I made a brief but telling appearance at John Falcon's birthday party. Sweetie, the room was packed--even spinster and diva wannabee Barbara Mohr was there, with Abba videos blasting and of course movies in the bedroom..uhm hmmm! But, sweethearts, I have to tell you, the bathroom simply sparkled, though I would suspect that is Matias' doing. John's partner, who as far as I am concerned, is quiet, gracious, and can do a hell of a lot better than John. As I walked about the place I noticed very little in the way of decoration and no books, which, which darling, bespeaks to me of a culturally lowbrow household, which is something I simply cannot tolerate. But the gorgeous, quiet, tree laden pre WWII building neighborhood floored me. I mean, girls, how can they afford it? No one has any idea of what Matias does, while John teaches at some Catholic school, which is hardly Wall Street, darling, but then running up to Boston for spiritual and scriptural programas and certificates. I think Daddy and Mommy are funding all this, because his manner and bearing are that of such a spoiled Italian boy. No wonder his behavior in choir has been the way it it, though I have noticed with the advance technique of Tom McGuiness he has not been coming to choir quite so often.
How interesting. But the evening was a success, we signed John's birthday book and a good time was had by all. Did I resent it?l Not a bit, because darling my place is a monument to sophistication and literature, and everything else can go to the wayside. And yes I was right, there was certainly no action to be had here in Jackson Hts. You would think a borough named Queens would afford more opportunities, but darling, I am telling you, I did my duty and went my merry way. Love to all, girls, who were there, and hope to see you again at even more sophisticated gatherings!!!!!!!!!!!!!