Darlings, Let Us Not Forget The Importance of Class Distinctions!!!!!!

Last night, girls, we caught a recent screening of the classic "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte." What a revelation, I am telling you! Because what I realized upon this viewing is that, beneath the Gothic trappings, this is, first and foremost, a film about class distinctions. And if that White Trash upstart Miriam Dearing had maintained hers, none of the tragedy would have happened.

Consider:

John Mayhew was obviously the male White Trash counterpart to Miriam Dearing. Jewel was, like Charlotte, the daughter of wealthy Southern gentry, which is why John married her. For her wealth, and to pound some legit pussy, because you just know darlings that a White Trash buck like John is just one big Southern horndog! So he certainly did not stop pounding non-legit pussy, and I bet, darlings, he and Sam Hollis passed each other many times going up and down stairs evenings at local brothels. So each knew what the other was.

Sam Hollis, additionally, whether he realized it or not, had incestuous designs on his daughter. No, he did not act upon them, BUT they were there, which is why not only did he not want his daughter to marry John, he did not want her to marry ANYONE!!!!!!!!!

John carries on with Charlotte. Miss Trash Miriam squeals to Sam, who refuses to believe a socially inferior wench. But when Jewel herself comes calling on Sam, he cannot deny the truth. What I think Bitch Miriam set in motion was for Sam to tell Jewel to murder her husband. At the party, there are repeated shots of Sam walking about the grounds. He is watching and waiting for John to get to the summerhouse, so he can tell Jewel to go ahead--which she does.
Charlotte finds the dead John, loses it at the party in that blood saturated dress, and everyone, of course, thinks she did it. All the fault of a scheming White Trash bitch who would not stay in her place!

Darlings, it never occured to me before, but, this time, I wondered--maybe Miriam is not Charlotte's cousin, but Sam Hollis' illegitimate daughter. Her mother was a sorry up-North waitress, whom Sam could easily have had a dalliance with, and impregnated. When she wrote to him for money, faced with exposure, Sam decides to buy the slut off, and raise the child in genteel surroundings, pacifying the mother with the prospect of a better life for the child, but all the while never letting Miriam forget that she should be grateful for being removed from the gutter, and that she will NEVER be the equal of Charlotte. But no, Miss Entitlement Bitch Miriam thinks she is better--a mistake social trash often make. And this is Miriam's lifelong downfall!

So, the women are not cousins, but half-siblings, and do not know it. What only Charlotte seems to know is, twice, when she says "John never even...." and we know the truth--the relationship was never consummated, as everyone thought. Plenty of cuddling and petting, but no going all the way. Charlotte was not trash, like Miriam.

And that trash continues to worm her way into the gentry by making a play for Drew Bayliss, another wealthy Southern scion. Drew may be gentry, but his instincts are sleazy--probably over charges and over medicates his patients. So, when scandal erupts, socially prominent Drew rightly drops Miriam, and she flees to Paris. Where she plots vengeance on all!

Much is made of the fact that John's dismembered head was never found. I know where it is, darlings! The answer lies with Jewel Mayhew, and William Faulkner's short story, "A Rose For Emily."

Let me tell you, girls, this story relates to my life. Because in my town, I came from the RIGHT side of town, the North side. It would have been like if one of the girls from unspeakable Goat Alley, that South section across Woodbridge Avenue, down the hill from Nani's, filled with shany apartments and trash one floor dwellings, had tried to marry a boy from Harrison Avenue. Like Linda Johnson, who well knew her class distinctions and never rose above them, because she knew damn well she couldn't!!! She was the epitome of Goat Alley. And if someone like her had tried, I am telling you, it simply would NOT have happened. Linda Johnson, whose blue collar Goat Alley ilk my parents forced me to associate with, thinking it would make me a better person, when in fact it only made ME more aware of MY class distincitons, but because of this I was stigmatized and labeled and denied my true aristocratic professional heritage of the moneyed professions!!!!! So "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte" is a cautionary tale for all Miriams to stay in your place, and don't try to rise above the trash you really are, because sooner or later you will always be found out!!!!!!

I want my own copy of Crimes Of Passion, with the headless John Mayhew--House of Blood!!!!

The September issue of Vogue is now on sale, girls! Don't forget to buy it!!!!!!!!