Darlings, You Will Never Eat Sushi Again!!!!!!!!

Or pork, for that matter, to those of you who like 'dere Smothered Po'k Chops!!!!!!
Yesterday, dolls, I saw "Contagion," which turned out to be more fun than I thought. An all-star cast, dropping like flies!!!! I am telling you, no one has died better onscreen in more recent times than Gwyneth Paltrow, who, in a small role, makes every moment count!!!! Poor Gwynnie; first, she gets decapitated, with her head in a box, in "SeVen," now she gets her corpse's scalp sawed off surgically--and, lucky us, we get to watch it!!!!! But you have to hand it to her; she may not be the actress her mother, Blythe, is, but she is a real trouper!!!!!

I have to say, too, darlings, that I was just a little bit insulted by the fact there is no mention in this film of the virus hitting New York City!!!!! I mean; come on!!!!! If this situation were real, this city would be one of the first places to be gobbled up!!!! Was this a calculated move, on the filmmakers' part???? I wonder!!!!

The flow of the opening had a brilliance that the rest of it lacked. Not that it is bad, it is just typical Steven Sodderbergh, and while this film is more interesting than others he has done--at least it is not "Traffic," thank God, and is not interminably long, as that film was--the style is SO formulaic there is no real spontaneity or excitement to it, which keeps the viewer at a distance, and prevents overly sensitive souls, like myself, from being traumatized!!!! Though, girls, I am telling you, as soon as the lights went up, I ran to the bathroom, and scrubbed my hands with soap as furiously as Lady Macbeth!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine, Elliot Gould back in a film!!! How do ya like that, Barbra???? And doesn't he look well put together, at least; last time I saw him, darlings, believe me, he did not look SO good!!!!!! A bit of nip and tuck, El????? And I resent his line about blogging; obviously, no one connected with the film has read THIS blog, or else that line would not have been in the script. And while we are talking about script, why couldn't the writers make up their minds about Jude Law, as the blogger???? First, they make him a maverick, with his criticisms of governmental and scientific bureaucracy, then they turn around and demonize him as a profiteer from misery!!!! Which is it, guys???? You can't have it both ways!!!!!

At least "Contagion" is better than "Cloverfield"!!!! Hell, even "Plan Nine From Outer Space" is!!!! But it is never as fun as it should be; maybe it needed a dash of Michael Moore, or Morgan Spurlock!!!! But let me tell you, girls, there is nothing to be afraid of by seeing this movie!!!!!

Unless you do not have a good astringent on hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!