Finally, Darlings, A Role I Am Absolutely Suited For!!!!!!!!!!!

No, girls, I have not given up on "Funny Girl," which I know I could outdo Lauren Ambrose in. At least now I know where that might take place--the Imperial Theatre, on 45th Street, a nice house, if I do say so, myself!!!!!!!

The latest news on the Rialto is that ENCORES, around February, will be doing, for a 15 performance run, Stephen Sondheim's beloved "Merrily We Roll Along!" A show near and dear to my heart for several reasons--I worked with one of its cast members, Mary Rose Wood, years ago, back in my NYU days; the box office to it at the then Alvin Theatre, (now the Neil Simon) is where my late friend, David Semonin, and I met, that fateful Hallowween, back in 1981. Exactly thirty years ago this year, darling!!!!!!!!!! I also worked, briefly, several years afterward, with a woman named Sarah Barnacle, whose sister, Ann Morrsion, was the original Mary Flynn!!!!!!!!

And I even auditioned for 'Merrly' back in the summer of, oh, ssa, 1983, while still living in Jersey, when the Edison Valley Playhouse did it. I did not get cast, but I did see the production.

So this show and I have a history. Which is why I am lobbying again. The central role of Charley Kringas (the Lonny Price part) has yet to be cast, and, honey, I am telling you, this is MY role!!!!!!!! I am even the right gender this time. Charley, like me, is an idealist surviving in a world of cynicism, who manages to hold onto his youthful ideals and integrity. Just like me, darlings, who can also hold onto my youth, my professional age STILL being 24!!!!!! And he has two of the key songs in the score--"Good Thing Going" and "Franklin Shepard, Inc."--and, believe me, lambs, I can nail these, doing a poignant rendering of one, and a lacerating rendition of the other. Hell, if they wanted to cast me as Mary Flynn, I could do that, too, because I can belt "Now, You Know" to the last row of the balcony!!!!!!!!!! And what a song! How many chances does one get to sing the lyric, "..even Cream of Wheat has lumps????"

Listen, you casting people at 'Merrily', look no further than moi as Charley!!!!!!! I don't even need much rehearsal; I already know the score!!!!!!!!

What????????? You want ME to audition?????? How about if I do "Coronet Man?" Or "The Music That Makes Me Dance????"

Hey, Mr. Producer, I'm talkin' to you, sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!