Girls, This Store's Sales Are About To Go Through The Roof!!!!!!!!!!

The store I am talking about, darlings, is, of course, Three Lives And Company Bookstore, located on Waverly Place in Greenwich Village. My unquestionable home away from home, darlings, where the staff--Toby, Joyce, Carol, Maura, Amanda (whose recently born baby is SO gorgeous, I hear she is already getting calls from Central Casting!!!!). But with the arrival of young, erudite and enchanting Ryan (no, girls, NOT Mr. Gosling, though if you can't get a date with THAT Ryan, you might check out THIS one.) A slight, polished, and younger looking version Jonathan Franzen (and I bet he can parse a sentence as good as Franzen), this newest staffer is sure to be a crowd pleaser, so, between him, and all the literary events of this Fall I have pointed out, Three LIves is sure to thrive!!!!!!!! And don't forget the sensational Midnight Party next Monday, the 24th, to showcase the arrival of Haruki Marukami's epic opus, "1Q84!!!!!!!!" I cannot wait, darlings, so if you want to glimpse your Raving Queen that eve, or om the weekends, look no further than this charming literary enclave!!!!!!!! I know this publicity will do wonders for the store, not to mention Ryan's dating life!!!!!!!!!

But you better mean business, girls, not only in book buying, but with Ryan. He is young and tender, and I will NOT have his heart become nothing more than a trinket on all your bracelets of broken hearts!!!!!!!!!!!! If you do, darlings, did you see "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?" I will come after you!!!!!!!! May you be denied Streisand concert tickets for LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That should keep you in line, darlings!!!!!!!!! But get on down to Three Lives, and check out the Fall Events, and Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whose arrival is also one of Fall's Events!!!!!!!! Let's hope he stays till Spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!