Darlings, I Want To Perform At El Rancho!!!!!!!

Honey, with the way the economy has been tanking, it may not be too long, before I am performing at the same down and out South Jersey nightclub as Susan Alexander in "Citizen Kane!" Maybe if I am lucky, I can wear the same Dorothy Comingore wig and gown; that would be SO fabulous!!!!!!!!!

But, let me tell you a couple of things, dears!!!! At the point we get to this in the film, what people have come to see at El Rancho is a down and out has been, who was never much to begin with, but who is trying to use the social prominence she still has by name to jump start whatever is left of her career!!! And she needs John to get her those drinks, after the two floor shows!!!!

Well, I plan to do two floor shows nightly, and John may have to get me some drinks, too, but that is as far as it goes. Because when they come to see ME darlings, they will see a still youthful baby boomer who can out belt BARBRA while belting back Bloody Marys, Screwdrivers, Cape Cods...whatever!!!! I will do every show tune they want, and EVERY song on "The Barbra Streisand Album," including "Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf????" Woof woof, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad as things are, I may be reduced to living out of my dressing room, or a trailer in South Jersey, but if you think I am going to sacrifice taste, forget it, because that room or trailer will have designer fabrics, no matter what!!!! You had better believe THAT, honey!!!!!!!

Don't worry; if I get my act together you will all be informed and invited!!!!

Now, if only someone would build a Xanadu for ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!