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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Girls, This Simply Cannot Be Missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I have always had a special relationship with roller coasters, darlings!!!!!!! As a child, I thought the most thrilling thing was the Kiddy Roller Coaster at Point Pleasant, New Jersey, which, when I was kiddy sized, was big enough to be thrilling, without being overwhelming and scary. I remember my first glimpse of a BIG roller coaster, which was the white one in Wildowood, New Jersey. Having less fear, and being more venturesome, then, I instantly wanted to go on that. But my mother put a stop to that by her abject hatred of roller coasters. And, as it turned out, she had good reason.

Back in the 1930s, when Coney Island was the amusement center of the world, and my mother a young nursing student, she, and two friends went on the Cyclone at Coney. I have never forgotten this story. They got on, were strapped in, the ride started--but by the time it pulled in at the end, my mother had fainted!!!!!! She literally had to be carried off the ride.

Once I reached adulthood, I conceded her point. Roller coasters are thrilling enough to watch when others ride them, bur as for getting me on one....no way!!!!!!!!!!

So, when I discovered that the movie "Final Destination 3" started with a Roller Coaster accident, I felt I just had to see it!!!!!!!!

Now, back in 2,000, with my taste for horror, I went to see the first "Final Destination" film. It offered an interesting premise--survivors of a catastrophic accident gradually die off, as they were meant to, originally, because Death cannot be cheated. At the time of this film, I had no fear of my mortality (like I do NOW) but I DID have a fear of airplanes. And this film begins with a group of people dying in an airplane crash; which so freaked me out, I think I blocked it from my memory. I know I saw the film, but if you asked me to describe this sequence, I could not.

There was a second, third, fourth and fifth film. The premise seems always to be the same, which is why Monsieur harrumphs that they are little more than "snuff" films. Except no one is being killed for real; to me it is like the live action version of the old cartoons, where the Road Runner would drop an anvil on the Coyote, and, save for an anvil-shaped head, which is back to normal by the next scene, the characters survive.

One night last week, "Final Destination 3" was accidentally starting as I tuned in. I saw it from the beginning, up to the tanning salon sequence. I knew I had to see the whole thing, so, when I found it for $4.99 at a Best Buy in Elmhurst, Queens, I felt lucky. I went home, and watched!!!!!!!!

Girls, what a hoot!!!!!! The opening credits and sequence in the amusement park with the roller coaster, are the best in the film. They are brilliantly lit and photographed. The tanning salon deaths ARE a hoot because the two girls (Ashley and Ashlyn; don't you just LOVE it?????) were right out of the Diane Dykeman School Of High School Typicality. Grossness, plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The colors, the bedazzlement; it all overrides the rest of the film, which includes a gruesome death on a weight bench, a scary train ride, and a truck crashing into a car, complete with head decapitation.

Actually, the most scary thing about the film is its clever use of that Sixties song, "There Is Someone...." Once you see this film, honey, you will never hear that song in quite the same way, again.

The DVD set I got actually came with another disc with some Special Features, among which is a documentary detailing the making of the film (ie; how the deaths were staged and shot) that is almost as long as the film itself!!!!! The Roller Coaster Sequence took 3 solid nights to film, during which each night the actors had to take a total of 22 rides on the coaster. So that by the end, they had to sit on cushions, and suffered headaches and shoulder pain from the ride and restraints. I may want to act, girls, but I will stick with musicals, not this!!!!!!! Thank you very much, Heather Locklear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, honestly, you have got to see "Final Destination 3". No one likes to think about Death--because we don't know what happens after. I am just as scared as anyone--probably more!!!!!! But the theatricality of it all somehow distances one from being scared--unless one of the deaths depicted turns out to be one of your worst fears--like mine being a plane crash!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, take a ride on the coaster, loves, with "Final Destination 3!!!!!!
Or rent the DVD five film box set, and have yourself a good old fashioned Marathon one of these weekends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See you at the End, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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