Monday, June 19, 2017

Save Money This Summer!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take A Sleazy South Jersey Vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Lots of married couples spend an occasional evening, at a cheap hotel."
--John Gavin, as Sam Loomis in "Psycho" (1960).

Those of you having been on here awhile, darlings, know how fascinated I am by the sleaziness of cheap motels, and amusement parks.  When I was young, I thought you had to get to the Carolinas, and South Of The Border, for motel trash!  But, like Dorothy, I am discovering that fun isn't far from one's own back yard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The way I discovered it was this.  My sister has lived in Audubon, PA, as far back as when I was in high school.  All her children were raised in the house she is still living in.  For decades, the bus trip has been simple--a two hour ride out of the city, onto the Jersey Turnpike, and straight down till getting off at, first King Of Prussia, now, Norristown Transportation Center. 

 Ever since April, though, the trip has been something of a slog!  When David and I took the trip that month, we had no idea what we were in for, so, when the bus suddenly began veering off its usual route, David spoke up, and we learned that the bus was going first to Philadelphia, where we would be forced to endure a 45 minute layover, and get off the bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, you can bet THIS queen raved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Here I was, going to Philadelphia, home of "Cold Case," and I was unprepared--no Kathryn Morris hairdo or make-up!  Not enough time to solve a cold case, even if I wanted to, though I did notice the spot around the corner from the bus stop, where I am certain all the dealers and hookers hang out!!!!!!!!!  Real class, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This last trip, over the past weekend, was not so bad.  At least, we were not laid up in Philadelphia so long, and were allowed to remain on the bus, where it was comfortable enough for all!!!!!!!!!!

 But the trip going back to New York was so much fun!  Girls, I am telling you, you have to see this strip of road, near Mount Laurel Township!  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!

First, by the amount of sand and stones along the roadsides, you can tell you are in South Jersey!  But the Truck and Turf Motel, the Bel-Air Motel and Jay's Elbow Room Bar and Lounge are the height of trashiness.  Young horn dogs who want a slut and sleaze weekend, here are your dream destinations.  You cannot imagine the cheapness! David Lynch could shoot an entire film here!  I bet the sheets are freshly hot--and not from being laundered!

And just ninety minutes (or thereabouts) from New York!  I am telling you, who needs to go to the Deep South, for trash, when you can go as close as South Jersey?????????????

The Garden State is more than just veggies, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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