Darlings, I Am About To Name A New Drink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But before we get to that, girls, let me ask you--where am I to find a good personal assistant? Would you believe that this morning I had to go for my own coffee???? Do I demand too much? Am I Anna???? All I ask of my personal asst is that the coffee be on my desk when I arrive at 10 am. Take my clothes to the dry cleaners, pick them up, drop off my laundry, fold it and put it away--I mean, this is standard operating procedure. But my PA is too busy trying to get into Bungalow 8 or Lot 61, where he can snuggle up to Gisele and Leo, snort cocaine, and injure his pretty little body with mindless partying??? What are young people coming to, nowadays??? And with Corey Haim another drug casualty. Darlings, stick to caffeine and codeine--picks you up, takes you down--and you will do fine. How I do you think I operate on a day to day basis??? How do you think I have the energy to get out this blog?????

Now, about the drink. It is called The 'I'll Cry Tomorrow," and it is very easy to make.

The Recipie
Take one bottle of wine (or alchoholic beverage of your personal choice)
Take one bottle opener
Put both on table in front of you.
Open and uncork the bottle.
Drink in one sitting.
The results--you will be doing "I'll Cry Tomorrow" and feel like Lillian Roth. Just call me Susan Hayward! Follow this recipie, girls, and you will be ready to do "Sing, You Sinners," like Susan in the movie.

I am still plowing through Lauren Weisberger's--she of the stunning hair, which is what gets her published--book. I am up to the part where her heroine, Bette, who in style and voice seems NO DIFFERENT from Andrea in "The Devil Wears Prada," is becoming an events planner. Sweeties, that is a career I have always aspired to. The only trouble is there is only ONE event I am interested in planning--my OWN WEDDING!!!! Now you all know about the designer (Vera Wang) and you know about the locale (The Pierre). What you don't know is the honeymoon, which is to take place in Venice, Italy, after which we come back to New York and I am carried over the threshold (if only metaphorically) into my house on Great Neck Long Island, where I settle into my new role of housewife. This is ALL part of the wedding planning, girls, and I would like to see how perfectly coiffed Lauren could handle THAT.

Back to drugs. I strongly advocate them, but remember I am old enough to remember the death of Anissa Jones. THAT was a shock, because it was so unheard of at the time. Now, ex child star drug deaths are a dime a dozen. What is with THE INDUSTRY???? Where is Paul Petersen and A Minor Concern. Aganin I say--stick to caffeine and codeine.

Let me also add that with one day closer to the WEEKEND I have no hair appt. no GWTW date, and no prospects of one, unless I am forutnate to bag someone tonight at the Center. Pray for me, darlings. Do you realize I have never been to Elaine's, and have not been seen yet this season at Ciprianni's uptown? This things need to be resolved, love, and they will, as well as the question of my spring wardrobe.

I am really feeling the pressure, girls, to be an icon of glamour and the world of the demimonde that I so tantalizingly give you a glimpse of. I need a personal account just to go and hang out evenings at all the hot places, just so I can report them to you. So how about sending in cash? You can send as much as you want towards this cause, and then I will live the life you want for you, and let you know what it is like!!!!

I know, I know, my generosity is overwhelming. The milk of human kindsness just flows in my veins. See you keep flowing too, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!