"I Need A Man To HOLD Me! I Need Mel...I Mean....TED!!!!!!!!!!!"

That line, girls, was spoken by Patty Duke as Neely in the immortal classic "Valley of the Dolls," a book and film that made moi, and much of my generation what we are today--a bunch of fabulous bitches. Which gets into what I want to talk about today, what with the weekend on the cusp, and no GWTW date in sight, unnless a miracle no short of Bernadette at Lourdes takes place befor tomorrow at 3PM. Meanwhile, I have to go to the doctor this afternoon, get a perscription filled, get my hair done--or try to-- meet the Girls after work, amd maybe end out the evening at Xes with a couple of Bloody Marys. Could you keep up with this, darlings? I do not think so.

Then on Monday, we have the special Actors Fund "Valley of the Dolls" reading at John Jay College auditiorium, and I CANNOT believe I was NOT asked to read the role of Neely, because, sweeties, that is a role I live and have lived every single day of my life!!!!!! You may ask, then, why I would subject myself to such an experience; well, of course, loves, the answer is simple--a bunch of gay men in ONE place are guranteed for this, so what better chance than to find a husband? I cannot imagine what I will find at Xes, but whatever it will be too young and definitely too unsophisticated.

I cannot even activate my Match,com account because I keep forgetting to input my credit card, which I PROMISE to do this weekend, so maybe things will eventually improve. My weekend by the way is so jam packed, I do not know how I am going to cram it all in, or whether I can.

And here is an advanced heads-up, girls, so mark your calendars. I just found out today that on Thursday May 27 (just in time to kick off the Holiday weekend) Chelsea Classics and Hedda Lettuce are going to show the Joan Crawford classic, "Strait-Jacket!" We LOVE this one, girls, but won't discuss it till after it has been shown. There is a moral lesson in it for us all, and it has to be seen to be believed. Sure to be the next new production at the Metropolitan Opera house!
So mnake sure, girls, you have that night free to join me for what should be a night of merriment, that could go on well into the next day.

Speaking of calendars and next days, make sure tomorrow eve before you put out that light you set your clock an hour ahead. Spring ahead, Fall back. We lose an hour of sleep, girls--horrors!--which means our beauty will suffer a bit, so on that night before bed, remember to slather on an extra layer of night cream!

Hope to see you around, girls, esp at the Film Forum tomorrow at 3!

Love to all, sweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!