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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Darlings, This Week's Bitch Gives Us Coffee Drinkers A Bad Name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Girls, when I used to live in Queens, I had many magnetic posts on my refrigerator door. One of the most prominent had a yellow background, and a steaming cup of hot coffee, with the admonishment, "I haven't had my coffee yet.  Don't make me kill you!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                   Not that I ever would, loves.  But you have to wonder, in the case of the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, 70-year-old Lois Goodman, of Woodland Hills, California. 

                                      At this advanced age, I am not sure if she is the oldest winner, but I would have to say she is one of.  Living in the gated community at 20950 Ocnard Street--pure affluence, honey!!!--her husband, Alan Goodman, was found dead in their home, upon her alleged return, suggesting he had either fallen down the stairs, or had a heart attack.  This, back on April 12 of this year.

                                        While Lois, or "Lolo," as she was nicknamed, had been playing tennis for fifty years--almost since the Goodmans were married on May 30, 1962.  She worked herself up to becoming a second ranking referee in the prestigious U.S. Open, held on this coast, in Flushing, Queens!!!!!!

                                             Alan's death occurred just a month before what would have been their 50th wedding anniversary, which I am sure they would have celebrated with their three daughters.  But it was not to be.

                                                Once an autopsy was performed, Lois' cover was blown.  A broken coffee cup was eventually turned up, and shards of it were found in Alan's head.

                                                  It is believed they got into a fight, and she wacked him on the head so hard, with her coffee mug, it broke, then she stabbed him with the broken shards, until he was dead.

                                                    Neighbors reported Alan to be quiet and reserved, running his auto parts business for years. Not so Lois. It seems she was emaililng, and gallavanting with someone in Los Angeles, and it sounded like she wanted out of the marriage, and, of course, Alan's money.  The same old story. I expect to see this on "Snapped," "Deadly Women," or "Law And Order, SVU," any day now.

                                                       It is bad enough Lois killed her husband. But what makes her stand out as Bitch Of The Week is that she used a coffee mug--a thing of pleasure, girls--to kill him with.  Hope it was not a "Golden Girls" or orange mug, like I use.  I  am sure this thing does not collect show mugs, as  she has no knoweledge of such things.

                                                          If convicted, she could face up to Life in prison. Well, I sasy "Good riddance." And all for nothing.

                                                            But, as a confirmed coffee drinker, I am offended by her choice of weapon, as it seems to disparage those of us who drink Java Joe, and especiallly depend on him, in the morning.  Not all coffee drinkers are killers, honey, though they can be nasty before they get that intiial jolt of caffeine in them.

                                                              So here is to Lois Goodman--No Goodman's Golden Noodles, here, darlings!!!!!!!!--as this week's Bitch Of The Week.  Wait till she sees how weak prison coffee is!!!!!!!!!  It is enough to make one kill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                And, sweethearts, dont you DARE mess with me, till I have had my morning coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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