Can You Believe, Girls, That After Today, One Fourth Of The Year Is Over???????????????????

               That is right, darlings!  Some may say the roughest part, but then, we still have April, and, if you know your T.S. Eliot, and "The Waste Land," "April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead lands, mixing memory and desire."  An emotionally charged month, for my family, I can tell you!

                 But let us congratulate ourselves on having made it through March. We survived Winter, Spring came, and as each month gets warmer, the promise of Hope grows stronger. Until September, when Proserpina goes back to Hell. But we have a long time, till then!

                    Of course, April brings Easter, and, with it, the annual screening of "The Song Of Bernadette."  Can you believe it is almost that time, girls????????????/

                      Capped off, at month's end, by my father's--get this--99th--that's right, 99th, birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

                       So long, March!  We made it through! Here is to a great April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!              

On The Skids, With Paula Zahn, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              This is what it is going to come to, darlings, because Paula's days are numbered. On April 20, in her 10PM Sunday spot, begins a new series called "The Perfect Murder," which sounds like it should be lots of fun. At least, it should be able to keep us awake, which last night's episode of 'Paula' was not able to do.  One second, I was looking at a story about some girl being abducted, and the next thing I remember, I was watching a "Dateline" repeat I had already seen. As for my beloved Monsieur, he was out stone cold!

                              We just barely had enough time to see the campy intro, with Paula emerging out the gray mist!  Cracks me up!

                                Will Paula be renewed for another season?  If she isn't, that should make Aphrodite Jones happy, and us, too, as it might mean more  of Aphrodite!  In which case, Paula is left with the Home Shopping Network, or some such thing.  I cannot picture her in the kitchen as a foodie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Paula, hon, you need to get your act together!!!!!!!!!!  Or else, market your DVDs as sure cures for insomnia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Who needs Sominex, when there is Paula Zahn????????????????///

You Must Eat Here, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Who goes to the Upper West Side, anymore, darlings?  That place went out of vogue, once the Eighties passed.  However, last night, we met David's friend, Aviv, who lives in the nabe, for dinner, and found the most charming establishment, called Telio.  The food and service was excellent. We had the  most scrumptious appetizer, called Gigantes, which are giant white beans, in a tomato and dill sauce.  David had sardines with spinach, Aviv had stuffed shells, while I had  Papardelle bolognese, with bits of spiced sausage.  I am telling you, this is like a treasured oasis in the Upper West Side sprawl.  A real find, that is worth visiting.

                                 It is on Broadway and West 93rd Street.  So, the next time circumstances cause you to take the Number 1 to West 96th, be sure to pay Telio a visit!

                                   And the waiters are cute, darlings!

   

Welcome Back To "The Tonight Show," Joan, Darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Girls, after over 25 years, on March 27, 2014, Joan Rivers was welcomed back to "The Tonight Show," by new host Jimmy Fallon, and, as you can see, he is having quite a time.  He is loving every minute of Joan--as we all do!!!!!!!!!--but is also wondering, with what comes out of her mouth, if what she says is going to land him in trouble, let alone get past the censors!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            You should have seen Russell Crowe, seated to Joan's left.  I have never seen the guy crack a smile, on screen, or off, but you should have seen him, doubled over, smiling and guffawing at Joan.  It was a  Russell never before seen, and it was worth it!  It is also a testament to Joan's skill. Imagine--getting Russell Crowe to laugh??????????????????????

                              But, why should Russell have all the fun?????????  Take a look, girls, to see what you missed!

                              Joan is still as sharp, as ever!

                              We love you, Joan!  "Whaaaaaaaaaaat a traaaaaaaaaamp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What Is The Secret Behind This Portrait? Could This be My Real Life "Splendor In The Grass?"

                             
                                         When the movie "Splendor In The Grass" first came out, back in 1961, its tag line was "If you are an adult, you have lived this story!"  That was not quite true with me, darlings, because, while I could, to a degree, relate to Natalie Wood as Deanie, there was no Warren Beatty to toy with me, there was no bathtub scene between my mother and I, nor was I ever taken out of school.

                                             But someone I knew was.  My mysterious classmate, "Roxanne," who, in a sense, was our class' real life Deanie Loomis.

                                              I think it is a tale worth telling.  But I have no dramatic arc, and fiction and reality blur.   I know that something did happen to her, when we were very young.  I know she was taken out of school, hospitalized, and was never the same, afterwards.  I know she was friends with the Killer Kays.  I know her family lived on Karsey Street, and was Greek, and that around 2007, they moved from Highland Park, NJ, to Lincoln, Maine.  But that is not enough for a story.

                                               I don't think there was any boy involved, though, if you ask me, the Kays, dominated then, by their repressive mother, were as repressed as Mrs. Loomis (played by Audrey Christie, in the movie!!!!) and may have projected this, or tried to, onto Roxanne!

                                               I believe the portrait I have  found is of the mysterious Roxanne.  When I look directly at the features, they are recognizable.  And, there is still that haunting vulnerability.

                                              I can't get this out of my head, till I set it down on paper, but I don't have enough to go on.  Maybe something will strike me.  Or I will glean some information.  In any case, I am keeping my options open!

                                              If I am right about the person in the portrait, whose haunting, vulnerable beauty is still present, I feel almost as sad for her as I did for Tyler Clementi.

                                             But, what can be said for Roxanne, is, despite her having some more breakdowns, she is still with us, and obviously takes care of herself.  She is a survivor.

                                              She still has a chance.  Unlike poor Tyler!

                                              Go, Roxanne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post Writer Mackenize Dawson Goes After Gwyneth.......But For The Wrong Reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Now, I work in an office cubicle, too, girls!  I concur with all Mackenzie Dawson says about working moms, because I see what my own nephew and his wife are going through, with their own children.

                                  But let me tell you some things about Miss Paltrow,  I have two former colleagues, who live on the Upper East Side, who recall seeing her mother, the Great Actress Blythe Danner, pick her up from school, and ride home on the bus, when she was younger.  So, Miss Paltrow was raised right.  However, when she became "Gwynnie," she forsook all that.  I bet when Celia was in "The Glass Menagerie," Gwyneth saw it, but, instead of busing it, she pulled up to the stage door of the Booth, in Shubert Alley, in a limo, and walked inside there!

                                  Which says a lot about her.  She is pretentious, status seeking, and not much of an actress.  She could not have done that role in "Shakespeare In Love," without her mother, who is a classical actress, coaching her, so I think that Oscar should go directly to Blythe; hopefully it is now on her mantle!

                                    I am not saying that Mackenzie did not call it right with Gwyneth.  It is just she did not go far enough.  If it is one thing I cannot stand, it is people who sell out.  Now, you do not have to a celebrity to do that; I know many people, some of whom I work with, whom I would place in this category.

                                   But, if you go all the  way back to Gwyneth's very edgy film debut, in the thriller "Flesh And Bone," it is clear she had acting promise--which she did not fulfill, because someone sold her a bill of goods where she could be the Hollywood Princess for awhile, then live off the dime--er, millions--after she got too old for that.  Instead of the art, Gwyneth abandoned it for commerce.  That is what she should be taken to task for.  And when she does an edgy cameo,  like the sexy, singing sub on "Glee!," it just demonstrates she could have had an altogether different career, which would have made her affluent, but not netted her as much. Guess all Gwynnie saw were dollar signs, and that is what she chose, that is what she got, and that is why she will never be respected as an actress, the way her mother is!   And, after Mackenzie's justifiable, if not all inclusive, rant, she will not be respected much, as a person, either!

                                 Get over yourself, Paltrow!  Hey, those looks some thought you had--though I never got the appeal--are clearly beginning to fade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all????????????????

                                  What will you do now, Gwyneth?  No career, your husband is wisely running the other way from you, and the looks are fading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Who's sorry, now??????????????????????????

                               

"Honeychild, I Really Oughta Scold Ya! Ya Have Your Mammy Old And Gray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                    I just love that line from the 1936 Shirley Temple movie, "Poor Little Rich Girl," when she sings that part of the song in "Oh, My Goodness," and holds her Mammy doll!  Everyone should have a Mammy doll to hold, darlings, which is why I say bring her back now!  The South should rise again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    I have a Mammy figurine, and you had better believe it rests in my kitchen!  But I remember, even to my childhood, when you would still see cuddly Mammy dolls.  It is time to bring them back.

                     But, while we are waiting, here is Shirley to do the song for you. Watch how the dolls themselves dance!  Watch how she adopts the ethnicity of each doll, circa 1936!  The Mammy sequence is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       Bring Mammy back, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Want To Live In Beatrice's World!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     The Esurance commercial says "Don't live in Beatrice's world," but I am telling you, darlings, why not?  It's kind of like the old comedy "King Of Hearts."  Being delusional but functional is the best way to get by in this world of often ghastly reality.  So, sitting at a computer, with a cup of tea, like Beatrice, seems not a bad thing at all.

                        I could go for all of that, right now.  Which is why I just LOVE Beatrice, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        What people don't stop to realize is that Beatrice is really a forward thinking trailblazer, who refuses to conform to her times.  I think it is time we all adopted her as an inspiration.

                           Why not live in Beatrice's world, girls????????  Look what it has done for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Sicko Bitch This Week, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  When I saw the story "Hometown Homicide" on last night's "Unusual Suspects," I knew I had found the perfect candidate for this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                                     Shelby Shamblin was around 50. when this shot was taken.  It took him 33 years, from 1980 till 2013, for him to be convicted, for something he did when he was 17 years old.

                                        Betty Crossman had been married, when young, to another man, by whom she had two daughters, and whom she tragically lost to cancer, later in life.  She had children and loved ones around her, but did not expect love to come her way again.  But it did. Around the age of 66, she married Mr. Crossman, who ran an RV business. At the time, he employed a young worker named Shelby Shamblin.

                                        This punk took it upon himself, while Mr. Crossman was out of town on business, to gain entry to her home, which was no problem, as she knew the young man. He came up behind her, with an iron pipe, beat her, then strangled her to death.  What was sad, the Crossmans had not been married for yet a year, and were completely happy.

                                            As if this were not enough, the teen was still a virgin!  Oh, my God; he had had to get laid! So, what did he do?  Once Mrs. Crossman was dead, he took her into the bedroom, closed the curtains, disrobed, and then raped her, as a necrophile. .  Can you imagine?  So hard up he had to lay a dead  woman?  And 67 years old, at that?????????  What's wrong, Shelby?  Couldn't find someone alive and age appropriate to interest you?  Could you only get it up this way?

                                            This guy was sick, and apparently lived under the radar.  Several decades later, a drug charge arrest, combined with DNA testing, led him to be apprehended as Betty's killer!  He got Life, without parole, and it is a good thing, for, sooner or later, he would have killed again.  And how do we conclusively know he hasn't????????????????????????

                                               What goes around, comes around, Shelby, you bitch!  Rot in prison, and then where you are headed for, afterwards.

                                                May you be roasted on a spit, as Special Guest at Betty's Celestial Barbecue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fifty Years Ago Tonight, Barbra Streisand Became A Star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Miss Streisand, as she was then known, had been kicking around the New York theater scene, for several years, ever since her graduation from Erasmus Hall High School In Brooklyn.  But that stopped on this very date, 50 years ago, back in 1964, when, at the Winter Garden, opened a brand new show, called "Funny Girl."  Things were never the same.

                           Miss Streisand, from then on, became BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!  The burgeoning gay community--of which I was one--had an icon, a role model, someone they wanted to become!  And still do! I am waiting to do my revival of "Funny Girl," and I just might do it tonight, at home!

                           If there were Holy Days Of Obligation for Theater Queens, this would be one of them!  I know a lot of Theater Queens are going to be blaring the Styne-Merrill score this evening, some dressing in drag as BARBRA, others fondly recalling the Dawning Of The Age....Of BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Hell, I might even do a rendition of "My Man."  Or "The Music That Makes Me Dance!"
Or both!

                            So, happy 50th Anniversary, "Funny Girl!"  For now, and "foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That Gwyneth!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Always Knew She Was No Blythe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Not that I would call Miss Paltrow untalented, just uninspired.  She sold herself out, and short, in a series of romantic comedies, not to mention "Shakespeare In Love," the Oscar for which should be sitting on her mother's mantle piece, since you damn well know Blythe coached her through the entire performance.

                               But when she would go edgy, like in her film debut in "Flesh And Bone," or, in her star/musical star, as the sexy sub teacher on "Glee," Gwyneth almost seemed to come into her own, as if this is where she knew she belonged, and should be, but the industry honchos would not pay her for that.  Just for being a blonde, processed version of Julia Roberts!

                                 So, as Gwyneth moved away from acting, I was not surprised.  Blythe did the same thing, in raising her children, and she did a great job.  But, along with the kids, Miss P got more hippy and dippy, seeing herself as some sort of cooking specialist and health guru.  And to keep getting voted Most Beautiful Woman??????????  Come on!!!!!!!!!   That youth, Miss G, is starting to wane!

                                  And now, after 10 years of marriage, Gwyneth and  her rock star hubby, Chris Martin (of Coldplay) are splitting up. They say they are separating, but that is one step short of divorce, which means they are calling this marriage quits.  And if Gwyneth is smart, she will not marry again, because, I am telling you, that girl is not the marrying kind.

                                     Rumor has it that Gwyneth has been carrying on all over the place, including with top entertainment lawyer, Kevin Yorn.  Can't that girl keep her snatch in her panties??????????????//

                                       I guess not!  Blythe needs to sit down and have a talk with her!  Who do you think is going to raise Moses and Apple now????? You got it; Blythe!  Will Brad Pitt dump Angie for Gwynnie??? No way, Jose, that ship has sailed, and Angie's claws are long and sharp.

                                         Blythe Danner strode about the stage in her bra and panties, back in 1969, in "Butterflies Are Free."  Straight male critics went so crazy they probably ejaculated into their undies.  Blind to the superb acting technique on display, which Blythe has continued to dazzle us with!  And which netted her a TONY Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Someone should have told Gwyneth Paltrow that strutting about in panties on stage gets you more results than doing it in the bedroom,, for all to know!

                                            I am sure Mama told Gwyneth there'd be days like this!  She should have told her, and tell her now, to give that skank ho' behavior a rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              As Joan Rivers would say, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat  a tramp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What Is Martha Plimpton Going To Do????????????????

                             Girls, I know I've been away from the biz a bit, but now I am going to give you the biz!!!!!!  After four (and I had hoped for more) seasons, the hilarious white trash family comedy, "Raising Hope," headed by Martha Plimpton, is being cancelled.  When it was in its glory days, on Tuesday nights, before "Glee!," we never missed an episode.  But then they started monkeying around with the shows' schedules, and "Raising Hope" ended up on Friday nights, when, like, nobody watches TV.  That is when Monsieur and I are out food shopping, at the local emporium.

                               So, it with sadness I say farewell to this comedy show which allowed America, not just New York audiences, to see Martha Plimpton's talent.  But, now that the show is behind her, I hope that means a return to New York, and the stage.  I mean, after her show stopping turn in "Company," the sky is the limit for her!

                                Get on that plane, Martha, and fly back!  Broadway welcomes you warmly, and may your name be gracing the lights of the Great White Way soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And how we will miss Cloris Leachman, as Grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tana French Does It Again--Both Good And Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Reading Tana French is always pleasurably reassuring that it will be a smooth read, with plenty of suspense and excitement. And, like "In The Woods," and "The Likeness," this novel fulfills that promise. But it also falls into the trap of the other two--French is, to a degree, the Christopher Durang of the mystery genre. Especially in his early days as a a playwright, Durang was accused of not being able to end his plays; some say the same thing about Stephen King.  Well, Tana French has the same problem.

                             Things are wrapped up satisfactorily, by the time the book is finished, but I wish a little more energy had been expended on the upcoming trial and testimony, and their outcome.  French stops just short of this, as if she wants the reader to form those conclusions for himself.  Which is fine if you have dabbled throughout the last several hundred pages in ambiguity, but when you have been as up front and honest with us, as French has been, her disappearing act only proves frustrating.

                               I fear this is French's gimmick, and it does not look like it will change.  Much as I look forward to reading her more recent book, "Broken Harbor," I know the end will be unsatisfying.

                                Like going to a Chinese restaurant, and not feeling full, hours later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Was Done To Poor Roxanne?????????????????????

                     Whether this will turn out to be just a blog post, a short story, a non-fiction article, or a book, only time will tell.   I can tell all you Theater Queens that it will not turn into a musical, like "A Chorus Line," because, first, the material is not suited, and second, the amount of characters consists of one family, and a group of maybe, half a dozen, school age children.

                         Back when I was fourteen, or fifteen, and creative, movie mad, and all that, I thought the gold standard for having a nervous breakdown was Natalie Wood in "Splendor In The Grass, " having seen the film for the first time around this time.  Of course, with age comes the knowledge that it is the gold standard for acting, but in reality a nervous breakdown can be more complicated than that.

                            Which leads me to someone I once knew who supposedly had one.  A school classmate, named Roxanne.

                              I say supposed because I do not have all the facts.  Here is what I do have.

                               In second grade at Irving School,   because we were seated next to each other, Roxanne and I became fast friends. She was a tallish, lanky looking little girl, with short, black hair, doe eyes, and a very vulnerable look.  When she morphed into young womanhood, she retained all this; she may not have been a stunner, like Roberta, but she was what one might call mildly pretty.  Back then, she had a good sense of humor; I recall, in second grade, us discussing "The Wizard Of Oz" (still my all time favorite movie!!!!!!!!) and I recall her saying the part she liked best was when the witch melted.

                                 But I also recall something that happened in second grade, between she and a girl, she had been friends with, Linda Wilson.  One afternoon, we discussed the situation, as a class; I recall Roxanne was there, because she explained a lot.  I am not sure if Linda was there, because she might have been too upset to come back.  I remember Roxanne saying how she and her family had always treated Linda well, that when she did something they disapproved of, they always gave her another chance, but that they had reached the end of their rope with her.  That is as much as I know, but I still recall this vividly.

                                     Grades moved up, we got older, and as we went from the lower grades to junior high, the Irving kids were torn assunder, sent in different directions, onto different academic tracks, and paths, as I was.  Which means Roxanne and I did not see much of each other, during these years,  But there came a time, somewhere around eighth or ninth grade, when Roxanne was heard about.

                                          One spring, after school, I went with my mother, to St. Peter's Hospital.  To my best recollection, she was visiting someone she knew who was convalescing there.  She had me wait in the lobby; I, of course, had a book, so that was no problem, as it gave me a chance to read.

                                           As I was doing such, along came one of my Irving friends, Linda Johnson, then working as a candy striper.  She took some time to sit and chat; we talked about the present, the old days at Irving, when, suddenly, out of the blue, Linda asked, "Did you hear what happened to Roxanne?"  I said no, and, in Linda's own words, she said, "she had a nervous breakdown."  I was stunned, because, as she said this, I instantly pictured Natalie Wood as Deanie Loomis, but that did not jive with my image of Roxanne.  I have to say, being mildly pretty, had I been in any way straight, I might have been attracted to her. But dating someone from that part of town? Would my parents have allowed it?  I wonder; in retrospect, I think they would have been thrilled, just for the fact it was heterosexual!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              I wanted to know more, but I didn't ask, nor did I ask Linda.  What did she mean? Had Roxanne been hospitalized? What was the diagnosis?  And what was the cause?

                                               It was only in recent recollections--a fervid time when I was having trouble sleeping, and when I did, images of Roxanne appeared in my dreams--that a cause came back to me.  Linda had said the Kay Sisters had something to do with it.

                                                The Kay Sisters were twins, Donna and Diane. They came to us in third grade, at Irving, and both had speech problems. Donna, in our class, had hearing problems, so we were told, when talking to her, to speak up, so she could hear.  For reasons I cannot fathom, nor can I recall who named them, they were quickly dubbed "the Killer Kays!!!!!!!!!"   And children, passing them would yell out, "Killer Kay!" and go rat-a-tat-tat, at them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   They were unusual.  For one thing, no one knew where they came from, or who their father was. The woman supposedly their mother, who was raising them,, lived with them in one of those garden apartments in the Goat Alley area of town; I have no idea how she supported herself and those girls.  But it was her look that was disturbing.   If there had been a casting call, back then, for the role of Margaret White in "Carrie," Mrs. Kay would have made the final cut!  She had long, stringy, white hair, and thick horned rimmed glasses, that made her look older, less a mother and more a grandmother or spinster aunt. Who, for all I know, she might have been.  She also raised those girls on a fervent religiosity; I would see them all in St. Paul's Church on Sunday, and, of course, they were with me in catechism.  I could picture Mrs. Kay, locking them in their rooms, making them pray for hours, suffering the true Catholic suffering, bodies pain wracked from scrubbing floors.  By the time of eighth or ninth grade, those of us who knew them--and I was one--thought they would end up as either nuns or Catholic lay spinsters; think Eleanor Rigby in the Beatles song.

                                        But they didn't. They both got married, and I think both have children. Go figure!

                                        But what of poor Roxanne?  What could the Killer Kays have said to this vulnerable girl, that sent her over the edge????  I bet it had something to do with the evils of sex; they would have thought that way at this time, and you know the mother (or whatever) did, and they conveyed this to Roxanne, who, for all I know, may have been dating someone none of us knew about, or was struggling with feelings of sexuality, that all girls that age do--and this is what happened.

                                             I wish I had known more about this.  I wish I could have talked to Roxanne, so I could have stuck up for her. I wish I could have told the Kays what killers they were. They still are; they are Republicans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               As for Roxanne, I figured she would spend the rest of her life, on Karsey Street, in Highlland Park, as a spinster.  But she did not.  For one thing, she is now residing in the midst of Nowhere--a town called Lincoln, Maine, which I had never heard of, till recently.  For anther, the local Motor Lodge, is run by a woman named Melissa Sue Troulis, who is 35, which makes her old enough to be Roxanne's daughter.  And her parents are up there, still alive--the father, 90. the mother 88.

                                                So many things to ponder.

                                                 What was done to Roxanne those many years ago?

                                                  How does someone from Highland Park, NJ, end up in Lincoln, Maine?
                                                      Why?

                                                   And is there anyone out there who can clear this up for me?  Roxanne?
Linda Wilson?  Linda Johnson? The Killer Kays?  Tell me what  you know; even if it's just for me to MMOB.

                                                     But, rest assured, I will not rest, until the truth comes out!  It is always better when it does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     And, beware those Killer Kays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That Slipshod Paula!!!!!!!!! She Couldn't Even Keep Us Awake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    I am telling you, it was not the program's fault, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  Paula offered up the compelling story of serial killer Steve Oken, who began his spree on November 1, 1987, when he murdered a neighbor in his Maryland community, a newlywed by the name of Dawn Garvin. Who was only 20, and whose husband, Keith had been in the Navy, away on duty.  Dawn's body was found by her father, naked on the bed, spread legged, with a bottle protruding out of her vagina, and clutching a teddy bear.  I mean, SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    From here, still in Maryland, he went and murdered his own sister-in-law, Patricia Hirt.  Like Dawn, she was also sexually assaulted.  This was not soon after Dawn's killing.

                       Then  the psycho coward fled to Kittery, Maine (is Maine a haven for criminals???? I have GOT to find out!!!!!!!!!!!) where he impulsively murdered the desk clerk of his hotel, there, Lori E. Ward.

                        All in the span of 15 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Four years later, on January 18, 1991, he was convicted of killing Dawn Garvin, and sentenced to death. He also pleaded guilty to his sister-in-law's rape and murder, but we were not awake yet, to find out about Lori.

                          The death sentence was carried out on June 17. 2004, by lethal injection, at the Metropolitan Transition Center in Baltimore. At the time of his death, Oken was 42 years old.

                            This was certainly compelling enough. But with Paula's overly earnest delivery, the careful calibration with which she weighs the pronunciation of each word; I am telling you, back in the day, I used to get annoyed no end  with Diane Dykeman's attention getting, "Yes, m'am" manner, every time she presented a school report.  Next To Paula, Diane was a live wire.  She never put me to sleep, for which I give her credit.

                              But, let's take a positive spin, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  If any of you have sleep issues, I can recommend a sure cure. Try to stay awake during "On The Case With Paula Zahn."  That delivery will just droop your eyelids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Come on, Paula, how much more dour can you get??????????????????????

Surely A Contender For One Of The Top Sickos On Here, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Back in September of 1985, Teri Jo Bradish was a 13-year-old girl, with behavioral problems, that landed her in a group home.  She seemed to be doing fine, there, and one evening, the young girl, who loved  horses, asked to go out to either feed, or say good night to them, saying she would be right back.

                                      She never returned. That evening she was, at first, pleasantly surprised, by a visit from her father, Jerry Joe Bradish.  Back in 1985, he was 38, and she was 13.  But Bradish came with some surprises Teri had no idea of--rope, duct tape, liquor, and a deadly agenda.

                                         The agenda called for Bradish to ply his daughter with liquor, which she refused to ingest.  When that did not work, he bought out the duct tape and rope, to tie her enough to confine her, and carry out his heinous intentions.

                                           It was Bradish's intention--which he did--to rape and strangle his own biological daughter, then dump her body, thinking law enforcement could be fooled into thinking  that anyone but he did this. And the reason?  A life insurance policy!!!  The value?  Ten thousand dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            It is bad enough what this guy did to his own flesh and blood. Imagine Teri Jo;s last moments, knowing she was being violated and dying at the hands of one whom she had loved her entire life, and who was supposedly sworn to protect her??????

                                              Add to that the paltry amount that this was done for, and you have one sick, twisted, fucker. So money crazed that his own daughter is worth as little as ten thousand dollars?????????????

                                               Around 2008--twenty three years later--he was found out, and convicted, and sentenced to life without parole.  The mills of justice grind exceedingly small, but, when they do, they finally grind the scum down to what they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 A special place in Hell awaits this guy!  And a special place in Heaven, for Teri Jo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Photo Is So Touching, Girls, I Cried Real Tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Who says animals are not caring, and sensitive?  When you hear the circumstances behind this photo, darlings, you will be in tears, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            The man on the gurney, under the blue blanket, is named Mario.  He is 54 years old, and, tragically, in the final stages of terminal brain cancer!  For years, he worked as a caretaker  for the animals at the Rotterdam Zoo.  He was beloved by both staff and animals.

                            His final wish was to say goodbye to the lovable and loving creatures he had tended to so lovingly, for years.  The fulfillment of that desire was made possible by the Ambulance Wish Foundation.

                             As you can see, when he was wheeled up to the giraffe area, one of the lovely creatures, who asks to remain anonymous, came over, bent down, and gave Mario a kiss!  This is one of the loveliest, and most touching photos I have ever seen!

                             I am getting tears just writing about it!  And you just know Sister Camille would love it!!!!!

                             Hey, Sister C, how about mentioning this on one of your programs???  St. Francis of Assisi was the patron saint of animals.  This is proof they are just as loving as can be!

                               God bless, Mario!  You were loved on Earth, and those here will remember!

                               Gotta go fix my eyes, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Viola Davis As A Serial Killer???????????????????????

                      Darlings, I am telling you, this has to be seen, to be believed!  After seeing Viola in "Doubt" and "The Help," it came as a real shock seeing her chilling performance as Officer Terry Randolph, in the 'Criminal Intent' episode "Badge," from all the way back to 2002!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       So many things about this episode was disturbing.  An auditor finds out the guy he works for is taking kickbacks, and it ties in to Randolph and her partner, and for this the auditor and his entire family--a wife and two young children--are killed!  By hard hearted Viola, who turns out to be a retired member of the NYPD, who is "double dipping"--collecting her pension, while working another city job as a school security guard, where she gets drug dealers to sell on campus, then shakes then down for their money!  All so that she can provide a lavish lifestyle for her aged mother and two young daughters!

                       Terry's intentions are in the right place, but she, apparently, has no heart, save for herself, which makes her a sociopath.  The murder is never shown, but, in  a couple of scenes, Viola shows the kind of rage Terry can summon, in order to do such a heinous act.

                        And, if she was so concerned about her mother and girls, what about the possibility of being caught????  Which is why, when she finally is apprehended, and she pleads, "Please don't take my girls away from me!" I actually felt sorry for her.  Except she is a real Lady Macbeth!!!!!!!!!  What will that mother and children do now?  How will they keep a roof over their heads???? All due to Terry's lust for money, power and blood.  S. Epatham Merkerson made a special guest appearance, as Lieutenant Anita Van Buren, and even she was shocked!!!!  As she said, she knew Terry could be a bit of a "hothead," but this??????

                        Darlings, if Viola was not Emmy nominated for this performance, she should have been!  This is one bitch you do not want to mess with!!!!!!!!!!!

                          She is even worse than Miss Diana Ross!  Who has never killed anyone....that we know of!!!!!!!

                           Unless, of course, you want to count Florence Ballard!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            And I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

People Can't Stop Talking About Last Week's Episode of 'SVU'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          "Crime Stories," last Wednesday's episode of "Law And Order SVU," turned out to be one of the more exciting segments of the season.   It marked Mariska Hargitay's directorial debut, and let me tell you, darlings, not only did she do a fabulous job, but I think she should remain on the opposite side of the camera--where she is not seen.  Not because Mariska has lost her acting chops, but because of the way the writers are creating Olivia's character--as Miss Worker Bee Drudge Bitch!  My Monsieur said they are trying to make her into Dann Florek, which is wrong, as she is not that type.  Darlings, you should have seen the opening scene, with Olivia's entrance, where she is carrying a mountain of files, bemoaning her paperwork, declaring she will be staying at the office till 1 AM.  Put a pair of glasses on her, pull back her hair, and you have all the makings of the spinster librarian in "Citizen Kane." Except Olivia should also have been clutching "The Well Of Loneliness."  She is getting so damned dour--Florek was never like this!!!!--that fans are getting disgusted.  But the mistake is to blame Mariska.  It is not her fault; it is the writers.  If they keep turning Olivia into a drudge, fans will get disgusted, Mariska will leave the show, and that will be it for 'SVU'.  Good as they are, Kelli Giddish and Ice T are not strong enough to carry this show, and forget that weak link Danny Pino.  Face facts, girls, the show has never been the same since Chris Meloni, as Elliot Stabler, left, and, unless he makes a miraculous return, it will never be.

                        I think what the show needs is a new batch of writers.  Fire them all, and hire a new batch, because, the way Olivia is being portrayed, a stake is being driven through the coffin that this show has become.  Or maybe they are simply following Warren Leight's orders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         The episode, however, was greatly enlivened, by the presence of Alec Baldwin.  He played Jimmy Mac, a journalist who likes to fan the flames, and, as one who remembers, clearly a sort of stand in for Jimmy Breslin.  He is still a good actor, but, let's face it, these days, when Baldwin does an acting job, who else is he really playing but.....Alec Baldwin?????????????

                          Sparks flew between him and Olivia, which made up for the story, standard rape/Muslim stuff, the sort of thing seen in a better episode, like "Honour."  In this one, the girl, Heba, was raped by two corporate honchos at her brother's workplace, and she was scared to tell the truth because of her family.  How many times can these Muslim issues be hashed????  Enough is enough!!!!!

                            The story was basically old hat, but with stylish direction by Mariksa and Baldwin's trademark brashness, a sinking ship was, for the  moment, livened up.  If the production staff is smart, they will look at the results of this show, and fire those writers, or, at the very least, bring back Baldwin for more star friction!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             But, please don't turn Olivia into a Career Spinster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Proserpina Returns From Hell Today, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Well, dolls, it is officially the First Day Of Spring.  Proserpina returns to visit her mother, Demeter, after spending six months in Hades, underground, with Pluto!  What a relief!  She can wear some colorful designer fashions, the Earth comes alive with colors, and before you know it, things will be blooming, and people will be out of doors. And we will see Cujo more often, on his terrace.

                                      So, here is to a Happy First Day of Spring to all. Winter is history, and now we have only to look ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        And what better way to urge it in, than that evergreen classic, "It Might As Well Be Spring," sung by the wonderful Jessie Mueller!!!!!!!!!!!  Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Sicko And Sad Eyed Boy Are Inextricably Linked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               They shouldn't have been, for so many reasons.  The year before David Bowen, then 16, killed and assaulted 8-year-old Kenny Conrick on October 15, 1979, he had been accused of attempting the same thing, with another neighbor boy, around the same age. That boy, fortunately, escaped Bowen's clutches.  But, when the victim's parents went to press charges, they were persuaded by the Bowens to drop them, on condition that David seek psychiatric treatment.

                                  These parents agreed, but they should not have.  I bet when they heard of what happened to Kenny, they were as guilt ridden as could be. And deservedly so.  I almost blame them as much as Bowen.

                                    Then there was the profile, which painted the picture of that of a young man, with a domineering mother.  Mrs. Bowen, if you are still alive, Kenny's blood is on your hands, too.

                                      The saddest thing of all is that, for 27 years, David Bowen lived an ordinary life.  He moved to Maine, (I wonder if that is where you flee, if you are a criminal?????) married, (why is it these sleazebags can always find wives????   Probably doormats; hope the wife and daughter walked out on him, after finding out, and realizing, what he had done, and covered up, his entire life!!!!!!!!) and had a daughter. When he was apprehended,by DNA and today's technology, it really did not register what he had done.  His confession was so matter of fact, it was chilling; like walking to the store for a quart of milk.  No remorse, no sorrow, no awareness of the pain he caused the Conricks, or the life he deprived Kenny (who today would be 43!!!!!!!!!!) of.

                                         David went into prison to serve 55 years, sometime in his forties. Which means he is going to rot in there, and will not come out, until in a pine box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Good riddance!  Too bad his mother, and the other boy's parents, could not be imprisoned along side him.  They are all to blame for the death of Kenny Conrick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               All he did was to walk home from school.  He deserved better!

                                               But, at least, he got justice, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Bowen's real justice will come in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Was Done To This Little Boy, Girls, Constitutes Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             This young boy is Grayson Bruce. He is nine years old, and goes to school in Buncombe County, North Carolina.  Must be a bunch of Bubbas, there!!!!!!!!  It is the school administration there that is the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                               Grayson owns a lunch box, or back pack, that he likes to bring to school with him.  It is based on his favorite TV show, "My Little Pony."

                                  When he got to school with it, the kids attacked him, saying it was for girls, not boys. Well, first of all, you bitches, that is none of your business.  But when Grayson, took the matter to authorities, their suggestion was he leave it at home--that he conform--because it is such a trigger to bullying.

                                     As Grayson's mother, Noreen, said, it is tantamount to saying a short skirt is a trigger for rape.

                                     Frankly, if Grayson wants to carry Trailer Trash Barbie around with him, all day, he should have that right.  Where would I be without my Birthday Party Barbie?  Not to mention my Legally Blonde Barbie, and my Tippi Hedren doll??????????????

                                       It just goes to prove that administrators are not the best to....administrate.  These leaders need a good smack across the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Grayson, you come on here any time to vent!  If you want Colorforms, BARBRA, Lady Gaga, or what have you, it is your RIGHT!  Do not be afraid to exercise it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              I stand by Grayson, and his right to carry his possession .
 
                                              You carry that My Little Pony bag proudly!

                                                And, when puberty hits, I hope it evolves into a Prada Purse!!!!!!!

                                                Bitch administrators!  Stay out of Grayson's. and everyone else's, lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                           

Farewell.....No, Good Riddance To Winter, This Year, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Some are operating on the pretext that today is the First Day of Spring, but I prefer to welcome that day tomorrow.  I mean, Proserpina is going to have to do a lot of packing for the six months time she is about to spend above ground. And when one leaves Hell, darlings, if only temporarily, one has to be extremely particular about one's wardrobe.

                         I know, as a graduate of Miss Porter's, a lady daintily clasps her tea cup, sips, and says "Farewell!," not "Good Riddance!" to Winter. But this past one has been one for the books, dolls, and I am glad to call it History!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Oh, some of the snow created some visually breathtaking effects, but the onslaught was unrelenting, the weather chilled my bones right to the marrow, and it actually, for the first time, made me long for a longer clime.  No, don't worry; I am not going to Florida.  If ever I were, that boat has sailed, as the saying goes.

                            So, farewell Winter, we shall remember you always.  Now, we look to Springtime, when people emerge from their homes, like the nymphs dancing around Chaplin in 1919''s "Sunnyside."

                             See, what I mean, girls! So, health and happiness to all, who survived this Winter, and let's hope for the best for Spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               A bientot,darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Season Finale, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Last night's episode of "Rizzoli And Isles," the Season Finale, in fact, was entitled "You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone."  That was a poignant clue to what followed, for this was one of those episodes where crime took a back seat to personal drama.

                            To be sure, a crime took place, a Senator's daughter was murdered, execution style, with Homeland Security on tap, thinking she was being tailed for government secrets, when, in reality, she and her  other female colleagues were being raped by their boss, a high ranking Homeland exec, who got his!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             But that was the least of things.  The first things was that Lee Thompson Young's name was still on the credits, but Frost was not in the episode, and  something was said about his character being "on vacation."  OK, they can get away with that for one episode, maybe two, but what then?  It remains to be seen.

                             Things were nicely set up for Tommy to reform his Bad Boy image, get engaged to Lydia, make a home for she and T.J. And they get married.  Mama Angela was thrilled, and so was the party. Then, minutes later, we see Frankie and Tommy getting into a fight. Seems Tommy started drinking again, Lydia, found out, took T.J. and left.  So, now what is going to happen??????"?

                                And that is not all!!!!!!!  When Frankie and Tommy returned to Angela's, to nurse their wounds, and patch their sibling relationship up, Maura was on hand to aid things medically, and some sparks, on two occasions flew between she and Frankie.  Frankie has always had an interest an Maura---easy to understand, but, as Tommy rightly told him, she is high class, and he is blue collar, and never the two do mix!   Which set Frankie and Tommy at each other.

                                  But when Frankie had Maura check his lip on two occasions, even Jane sensed something, and cautioned Maura that Frankie falls hard, so not to trifle with his heart. Maura is no femme fatale, so I think she will stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Meanwhile, Jane has issues of he own.  First, she got a note from Casey saying he has been giving a command job overseas, and he wants Jane there with him.  Jane will not go; she won't leave Boston, the job, her friends and family, to follow Casey around the world. And rightly so.  But, halfway through the episode, I heard Jane mutter something about discomfort in her stomach and I said "Uh, oh!!!!!!!!!"

                                         Well, darlings, I was right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Jane is pregnant!  With Casey's child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Looks like that child will be raised by a single mom, though with Angela, Frankie, Tommy, Maura, and even a visit from Hope, around, there will be no lack of family. And Casey will have to know sometime; how will he take the news???????????

                                            What a season capper!  But it only bodes for a season starter next time out, which will be in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Looking forward to it, with all my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     

"When The Swallows Come Back To Capistrano, That's The Time I'll Be Coming Back To You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           Yes, darlings, it is the first unofficial sign of Spring. Today is March 19th, and, according to legend and song, this is the day that the Swallows Of Capistrano return to their beloved California mission, from which they have been away since October 23. Now, I do not know what time they are due to arrive, but I know these birds are surely flying First Class!!!!!!!!!!! The hell with Coach!!!!!!

                             Which means Spring officially arrives in just two more days. Which is when Proserpina comes back from Hell.  So things up on Earth improve.  And let's hope they do, after the Winter we have had!  But, thinking ahead, I wonder--will all this snow bring us a cool Summer, or will it be a sizzler??????
Only time will tell.

                              So, let us welcome St. Joseph's Day, and the Swallows.

                              To do  it officially, here are the Ink Spots, doing the famous song!

                               Welcome Spring, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Afghanistan Is No Vacation Spot, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I was pleasantly surprised by "A Thousand Splendid Suns," because my response to "The Kite Runner," was akin to what I went through with Zadie Smith's "White Teeth."  When Smith's novel first appeared, it was all the rage, as was "The Kite Runner."  When I read both, I was less than enchanted.  I read both twice, actually, thinking maybe something was wrong with me.  "White Teeth" still did not click, but I came away with a better appreciation for "The Kite Runner," though I knew, when it was eventually filmed (as it was) there would things depicted I could not bring myself to watch.

                             That same observation holds true for "A Thousand Splendid Suns," but I have to say this is a much better novel, and reading experience, than "The Kite Runner."  Maybe because the characters of Lalia and Mariam are so strong; the details of their contrasting situations so compelling, the historical details of the crumbling of their world, the emergence into the era of 9/11 and its aftermath, was extremely commanding in a way the first one was not.  There was one happy surprise which gladdened me, in the face of some tragic horror that does take place.  One thing you have to hand to Hosseini; he is not afraid to flinch away from the unpleasant aspects of life in his country.  I wonder if he is government exiled, as was Boris Pasternak, for his poems and "Doctor Zhivago."  I have a feeling if Hosseini were to go back to his native land now, he would be killed.

                              Which would be a shame, because with his other novel, "And The Mountains Echoed," plus whatever might follow, I want to hear more from this writer who has much to say, and is not afraid to shie away from the harshness of reality.

                                   When I was reading this, many people, who saw me carry it, stopped me to say how much they enjoyed the book, how moved they were by it. I can understand why.

                                     But also understand, once you finish it, your reading palette must be cleansed with something light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, Girls, It Was Not "The Quiet Man," But......................

                          We certainly had a fun, and very different St. Patrick's Day. After the traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage dinner, we retired, in front of the TV set, where we watched, uncut,  Mario Bava's "Black Sunday."

                             I had never seen it all the way through.  The opening is still the best part, but how the art direction and set decoration never got an Oscar nomination is beyond me.

                              This is kind of the "Patty Duke Show" of horror films, where Barbara Steele, she of those eyes, portrays two roles--Princess Asa Vajda, condemned in 1630 Moldavia as a witch/vampire, and her good descendant, two centuries later, Princess Katia., the good Princess.  I can tell you, Steele has much more fun playing Asa; this is the role I would have gone for.  All poor Katia has to do is moon around about her father, and faint, like no one else I have ever seen faint, at the sight of his corpse popping out of the coffin.  Asa, on the other hand, gets to be tied to wooden crosses by burly hunks, while delivering lines like, "My brother, it is you whom I repudiate! In the name of Satan, I place a curse on you!"  Who could resist this???????  And when the mask of Satan (the film's other titles) is placed on her face, and she screams...well. this is a new height in horror. Not to mention, the searing brand burned onto her back.  No wonder, my parents would not let me see this, at the age of six!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               From there, the story is routine--deceased witch returns to seek vengeance on all her descendants.  You've seen this before.  It is the set design, art direction, music score, and Barbara Steele that make this the classic experience you girls need to see for yourselves.  Hey, if you look on line, you can get a scale model Asa doll, (I don't know if it has to be assembled, or not!!!!!!!!!) tied to the stake!  You bet I want one!   I will be the talk of my neighborhood!  Even more, I want a real Mask Of Satan!  I have a couple of uses I could put it to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Heh! Heh! Heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

                                This movie even does a riff on the torch carrying villagers from the old Universal back lot. They capture the now dead, but arisen Asa, tie her to the stake, and burn her. But, being dead already, what good can it do???? And with those skeletal remains underneath, there is not much to burn, anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    To think I watched this movie, during Lent!  That has probably earned me some demerits, but, hey, I completely forgot.  And, of course, I will make up for it on Easter, with "The Song Of Bernadettte."

                                       Remember from this film, girls, if you make a deal with the Devil, you get burned along the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         But, such fun to watch, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!