Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Kevin Spacey To Host This Year's TONY Awards, On June 11?????????? You Have GOT To Be Kidding!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Gossip Central, this morning, girls.  Having Kevin Spacey host the TONY Awards is like having Joan Didion host a comedy roast!!!!!!!!  I mean, who is gonna believe it????????

                             Spacey is one of the finest actors on the planet; no question, but do we really want to see Keyser Soze as host?????????????

                             I mean, how about the Keenan-Bolgers?????????  Jessie Mueller????????  Audra?????????   Even at 90-plus, Angela Lansbury could liven things up more than Kevin.

                              But this has been a done deal for awhile, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!  Imagine my surprise when I found out the 2017 TONY Nominations were announced this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Oh, boy, the drama this year is enough to be a glorious Bitchefest!

                                Let's start with the mot obvious--Best Leading Actress In A Musical.  The nominees are--         Denee Benton, "Natasha, Pierre, And The Great Comet Of 1812."
                                 Christine Ebersole, "War Paint"
                                  Patti Lu Pone, "War Paint"
                                  Bette Midler, "Hello, Dolly!"
                                  Eva Noblezada, "Miss Saigon"

                             Eva who?????????????  Come on; get the hell off the stage!  You haven't got a chance against the Top Three, who pretty much rule out this Denee thing.  Patti must be royally pissed!  She knows she is going to lose to Bette Midler!  Everybody does!  "Hello, Dolly!" has not been this hot on Broadway, since it opened with Carol Channing, back in 1964.  This category alone is reason enough why people will watch the TONY Awards this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Now, about Best Play--who gives a shit about what Nora did once Ibsen had his say on her?????????  And what the hell is this "Oslo?"  And who cares?  My money is on "Indecent," written by an author I can count on, having known her, Paula Vogel.  And it is high time she got a TONY Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Best Musical--A rock pile!  The others don't even come up to the level of "Dear Evan Hansen."  I mean, "Come From Away?"  That is just bad grammar, let alone bad musical theater.  "Groundhog Day?????????"  I concede Andy Karl's talent, but another movie re-do????????? And reconstituted Tolstoy?????????  Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!  If "Dear Evan Hansen" does not win, it will be out of homophobia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Best Revival Of A Play--"The Little Foxes" (excuse me, "Lillian Hellman's The Little Foxes") should win hands down, just for being what it is--one of the greatest plays ever written, and, along with "King Lear," my personal favorite.  Two great family bitchfests--who isn't familiar with this, in real life, darlings????????  Which is why it is so much fun to watch others whom you don't personally know go at each other!!!!!!!!!   'Six Degrees' was crap when it opened in 1990; why even bother to bring it back??????  Unless the Obnoxious Children get their due!!!!!!!!!!!  Noel Coward had his day, and so has August Wilson!!!!!!!!  Lillian Hellman is timeless.  It takes REAL courage to write a line like, "Grits didn't hold the heat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               Best Revival Of A Musical--Unquestionably, "Hello, Dolly!"  No contest!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck William Finn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And "Miss Saigon???????????"  Who the hell cares?????????????  Dolly always said she would never go away, and she was right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Best Actor In A Play--I say give it to Denis Arndt for his brilliant pas-de-deux with Mary-Louise Parker in "Heisenberg."  The others have been around the block, and to hell with 'Six Degrees.'

                                  Best Actress In A Play--Now, this has some interest.  Let's get Sally Field out of the way, first.  "The Glass Menagerie;" who is she kidding?  After what Cherry Jones pulled off four years ago, not to mention Celia Keenan-Bolger, Sally, let alone the play, has no right being back so soon!  Joe Mantello should have been placed in a separate category, called Most Geriatric Tom.  I know, Joe, I'm a bitch, and you will get me!  Yeah, sure; try it!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I love Cate Blanchett and Laurie Metcalf, but this is not their time.

                                    Meanwhile, the whole Laura Linney-Cynthia Nixon thing offers another actress duel, alongside Patti and Christine.  That Laura is nominated in the lead category means she is being recognized for Regina in 'Foxes,' while Cynthia, in supporting, is being singled out for Birdie.  You know what I think?  I think BOTH should have been nominated in each of their categories.  That's right, you Brantley bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Speaking of the Supporting Actress Play Category, it should be Cynthia Nixon.  I love Jayne Houdyshell, and the others, but who really cares about "A Doll's House, Part 2???????????"

                                      The Supporting Actor play category is interesting.  Richard Thomas, dying on the stairs as Horace in 'Foxes???????'  I am all for it, but why was Michael McKean not nominated as the nasty Ben????????  Or the kid who plays Leo????????? Now, there is an opportunity for a young actor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to admit, Danny De Vito dong Arthur Miller is interesting.  As for Nathan Lane, well, he's just Nathan!  Hasn't that always been the case????????????

                                        Best Supporting Actor In A Musical--I loved Gavin Creel in "She Loves Me," and I love he is again featured in a musical classic, "Hello, Dolly!" His must be the butchest Cornelius Hackl; it certainly wasn't Charles Nelson Reilly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is also the most interesting role and show in this spot, and Gavin is a fave!  Go with him; forget the others!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Best Supporting Actress In A Musical--Kate Baldwin may be part of the "Dolly' juggernaut, but Stephanie J. Block and Mary Beth Peil are real pros in lackluster shows.  This Jenna gal does not stand a chance, so it could be between Kate and Rachel Ray Jones for the lauded "Dear Evan Hansen."

                                          Best Director Of A Play--Daniel Sullivan for "Lillian Hellman's The Little Foxes."  He gets it just for being assigned this project.  No one else should be considered.

                                            Best Director Of A Musical--No Harold Princes here, darlings, so it looks like a duel between Michael Greif for "Dear Evan Hansen" and Jerry Zaks for "Hello, Dolly!"

                                              "Hello, Dolly!" is a cinch for Best Musical Revival, but David Hyde Pierce as Horace Vandegelder?  He will play it like a gelding!!!!!!!!!!!  If he has the nerve to beat out Ben Platt in "Dear Evan Hansen," I will bitch slap him with his TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                What a bitch I have been this morning, girls!  Just like my role models, Hedda Hopper and Dorothy Parker.  Not Lillian Hellman; only because she was too ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  See you at the TONY Awards, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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