"Oh. Oh, Yeah. Let's Get One Thing Straight. See, I Never Heard About 'The Red Shoes,' I Never Saw 'The Red Shoes,' I Didn't Give A Fuck About 'The Red Shoes.' "

                                       Darlings, I can just about recite Valerie Clark's monologue, not to mention belt out her number.  Hers, and "Nothing" are the two I do best.  I wonder why Val.  I mean, I did not have any work done, but during my adolescence, and into my early twenties, I had plenty of my own personal issues about my looks.  But that all disappeared as I got older and ran away to the carnival city that New York was for me, in my younger years.

                                      But back to Val.  Am I as sassy as she?  I suppose I can be, but let's face it, girls, when performing that number, even if it is a guy in "Broadway Backwards," some augmentation is necessary.  Otherwise, the whole point of the number is lost.

                                         How to come on ample, but not looking like Dolly Parton.  That, my dears, is the question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Plastic surgery did not change my life.  But NYC did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            But Val was right.  You know what "won't get you jobs, unless they're yours!"

                                             I know the monologue, steps, and song.

                                             But I still have some work to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!