These Are White Trash Candy Bars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I recently re-read Tim Murphy's brilliant 2016 novel, "Christodora," about the famed apartment building on East 9th Street that started out as a settlement house, back in the Twenties. The novel is a character study of its inhabitants as they come and go, plus a fascinating glimpse into living in the East Village that, on both readings, made me want to move there.

                                Within the novel, one character refers to another as having "a White Trash sweet tooth."  I asked, what candies would constitute the designation of White Trash--and I came up with these two.

                                     First, these candies are hardly sold where I live, but I bet they are popular in the South, with MAGA and Proud Boys, who don't give a damn about their teeth, and I am sure these would not DARE be seen in such affluent areas as the Garden District of New Orleans.

                                       I have never had a Charleston Chew, and the way the package emphasizes the artificiality of the vanilla flavor tells me it is cheap junk.

                                       As for Sky Bar, they tried a tempting ad campaign when I was young, emphasizing the four different flavors in the candy bar.  They were caramel crunch, peanut topping, chocolate fudge, and vanilla chew.  Well, let me tell you, I tried one once.  The caramel crunch and peanut topping were forgettable, but the chocolate fudge and vanilla chew were memorable for all the wrong reasons.  The gooey chocolate was so fake tasting, it left a bad taste behind. As for the vanilla chew, not to be gross, but it tasted like sugar flavored semen!!!!!!!!!!!  That is right, girls!  Avoid it!

                                          I did, and I have.  But they have an online presence, and in some social corners, shall we say, they are popular.  Especially with White Trash parents, who do not care about their children's teeth--or buy them this junk when they would be better off saving up for a trip to the dentist!  But they are cash cows for the dental industry!

                                            I certainly love candy. But of high quality, not this garbage.

                                            Bring back Helen Elliott!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!