Darlings, Who Would Have Thought A Synagogue On A Sunday Night Would Be The Hottest Ticket In Town??????

Girls, I swear, I would not have believed it, if I had not witnessed it with my own eyes!!!!! For weeks now, Monsieur has been reminding me how I was EXPECTED to go to the Actors Temple Musical Benefit, which was held this year last night. Frankly, I was looking about as forward to this as a colonoscopy, because last year's was lacking in pace and drive, and seemed to drag on interminably, and the Comedy Benefit was so amateurish as to be truly embarrassing. Honey, in my time, I have seen plenty of theater, and certainly plenty of BAD theater, so I do not need to subject myself to any more, if I do not have to!!!!

So, all day yesterday, I was warning Monsieur, I might get a pain, a migraine, hot flashes--anything that would prevent me from attending this event I was dreading. By the time we got to West 47th Street, and were nearing the Temple, he was literally dragging me along, just to get me there. I said that only for his sake, and the prospect of seeing Dan and Norma (SO sweet, darlings, and they should do "Rain On The Roof," from "Follies"!!!!!) would get me there. As soon as we marched in, I made a beeline for the bathroom, because, having ingested a huge amount of coffee in order to stay awake during the performance, I needed to relieve myself fast!!!!! While there, I planned going up the stairs, and beating a hasty retreat out of the theater, but when I got to the top, Monsieur was craftily waiting, anticipating my every move! We settled down in our seats, and waited.

And, you know what, darlings?????????? The show turned out to be WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!

The host (or hostess, darlings!!!) for the evening, was also the show's producer, Randie Levine-Miller!!!! She looked fabulous in her power suit, and she has the most gorgeous hair and skin!!!! One wonders how she does it; being the Raving Queen, I cannot help wondering if that skin comes naturally or by what we all know as cosmetic enhancement, darling!!!!!!!!! However, Randie looked stunning!!!!

In true opening fashion, Lee Roy Reams stepped forward, and with a voice to show he is still a pro, delivered the perfect anthem--Irving Berlin's "There's No Business Like Show Business." Now, I have loved Lee Roy since back when he was starring at the Winter Garden with Wanda Richert (remember her, dolls??) in the first production of "42nd Street." Back then, he was also known as Lee Roy "Reamed," because the word out there was he LOVED to get...guess what, dears?????? In fact, I once heard this story, where was home and got this important phone call, from either Lauren Bacall or Angela Lansbury, but could not talk, as he was flat on his back, legs in the air, otherwise occupied. Not only that, being a professional hoofer, back in the day, Lee Roy had the best male dancer posterior, second only to Wayne Cilento!!!!! Now, Wayne has become a big time choreographer!!!!! So it was nice to see Lee Roy last eve, but oh, my God, girls!!!!!!!!! He has gotten heavy!!!! (Not that some of us haven't, including yours truly, but being a dancer, he could afford a trainer, a class, a gym, something!!!!!!!) I am telling you, I was shocked!!!!!! And, darlings, coming from a Raving Queen, what a Big OLD Queen!!!!!!! I had forgotten, until I watched Lee Roy last eve, that he had, at some point done Albin in "La Cage Aux Folles." I am sure he was perfect!!!!!!!! But Lee Roy was great last eve!!!!!!!!

The other treat was Jackie Hoffman, still plugging away as Grandma in "The Addams Family" (which I have no plans to see, besides; it is closing on January 2, and going on tour!!!). She was a scream, and her song about men was hilarious!!!!! She was also plugging her one-woman Holiday show, "A Chanukkah Carol," which I am sure is going to be a hoot!!!!!!!! Jackie was the best comedic thing up there, especially in comparison to Lisa Lampanelli, who was being hawked and hyped all night, but by the time she got up onstage, it was, like, "Huh?" She is funny and brassy, can sell a joke, but not worth the hype!!!!!!!!!

The surprise of the evening was Stephanie D'Abruzio, formerly of "Avenue Q", who delivered such a dead-on rendition of "Don't Rain On My Parade" that it caused ME to worry about my chances for being cast as Fanny Brice. When I heard Stephanie, my first thought was, "Where the hell is Bartlett Sher????? He should be seeing this!!!!" You can bet Stephanie put that Lauren Ambrose to shame, and I am glad someone stepped forward to show that there ARE those out there, who can play Fanny!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to confess I was all psyched for Jill O'Hara, a Legend Of The Musical Stage (not only was she in the Original Cast of the Michael Bennett "Promises, Promises," back in 1968, but when "HAIR" first opened to the world, on October 7, 1967, at the then new Public Theatre, Jill was the original Sheila!!!!!), but who has not been heard from in some time. It was great to see her; I know over the years, Jill had gotten VERY heavy; she still is, but has slimmed down from when I last saw her, and she occasionally teaches at HB Studios on Bank Street. She was still in great voice, though I have to say her rendition of "I Can Cook, Too" (from "On The Town") was not as spirited as it could be. Randie had said something about Jill being afflicted with bronchitis earlier in the week, so that may have had something to do with the rendition, and only doing one song. But it was great to see Jill!!!!!

And it was great seeing Brent Barrett, whom I am dying to see play Hannibal Lector in "Silence!", the musical based on "The Silence Of The Lambs!" Brent should have quit while he was ahead; he opened with a great rendition of "Come Back To Me' from "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever" (which is pulling into the St. James Theatre, even as we speak, only don't start me on THAT now; I am sure I will be saving that for another post!!!!!!!), but finished with a song from the flop Leonard Bernstein-Alan Jay Lerner musical, "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," a show about the White House over the course of history. The song was about the house, and the hope it has offered down through the ages, which I understood was a lead-in to the Actor's Temple. The sentiment was lovely, but it was just NOT a good song!!!!! Brent's voice did the best with it, to be sure, but certainly another, better song, could have been found, to make the same point!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the pacing, the staging, were so polished this year, as compared to last. We were out of there by 9PM, which, considering the type of show it is, is what should happen!!!!!!! Kudos to Randie and everyone for providing an unexpectedly polished and entertaining evening. The only problem they are going to have is holding to the same standard, next year!!!!!!!!!!

Which is when they will need ME to do "I'm the Greatest Star!!!!!!!!!!"