Darlings, Suppose I Had Been In "The Blair Witch Project??????"

Girls, if I had, you know I would have screamed like a bitch on camera!!!!!!!!!
Then I would have been the one everyone wanted to kill, instead of Heather. Honestly, not since Marilyn Burns in the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was screaming raised to an annoying art. At least, Marilyn could be excused; she was running frome Leatherface, who was pretty scary, though, lambs, I am telling you, if you ae in the Gay community for any length of time, sooner or later you find out the guys in leather are the ones you DO run from. And that not every guy who wears leather ought to. Some should be in panties, and leave leather to the Dykes On Bykes!!! Heather, unlike Marily, had NO excuse--she was running from the so-called ghost of Elly Kedward, whom none of us ssw anyway.

But there is something out there that is scarier than this movie. It is called Staten Island, currently on display in the fabulous documentary, "Cropsey." First, the accents--you can't understand a thing they say, loves!!!! Then it turns out to be a dumping ground--for garbage, the dead, the mentally ill. Honestly, when is the so-called forgotten borough have a memorable breakthrough and become the dumping ground it ought for disgusting Beans n' Franks lesbians??????? Staten Island would be the perfect place to dump Grotesque Creatures of all sorts, and they don't come any more Grotesque than these. Between children vanishing, Andre Brown being arrested and coming off like a modern day Freddie Krueger, and the social inexcuse that was Willowbrook, and how inmates there were treated, is it any wonder I needed to comfort myself with Jennifer Jones in "Love Is A Many-Splendoured Thing?" And if you think I have any intention of going over to SI and exploring those grounds near Willowbrook, girls, let me tell you--my inner persona wants to but my outer will not let me. What could happen to my hair? My skin tones? I am telling you, even Anna Wintour would stay away from here, though I wish the scum bureaucrats who ran Willowbrook and let it fester into something that made Grey Gardens with the Edies look like a four star hotel, had had to face up to Anna, who would certainly put them in their place. Or maybe Willowbrook would have been the place for that silly Nelly Andre Leon Talley. No, excuse me, that would be Bellevue.

Parents tell their children not to go near there because Cropsey will get them. Loves, these poor children have enough problems just growing up on Staten Island, where their greatest concern is not Cropsey, but that they will never leave. Like me when I lived in Highland Park. And judging from the adults in this film this fear is not exactly unfounded. I mean, even Melanie Griffith got off the damn island. I say to Hell with Staten--girls, let us go to Fire Island. But then you encounter time shares, and bitchy homosexuals, which is something I can handle, darlings, unless you are dealing with Vicious Opera Queens. I don't go THERE, let me tell you. But until we get our time share, dears, I am telling you all to go see
"Cropsey," because darlings it is a TRUE representation of Staten Island. It makes me glad I grew up in New Jersey. How much of a miracle is THAT? Lourdes would be proud!!!!!!

I am proud of all my darlings, time share or not. Just stick out that chest and look gorgeous, and don't let anyone tell you you CANNOT do Lana Turner's famous walk down the street from "They Won't Forget." And if you can't, girls, I will show you how!!!!!!

Have to run. Off to get discovered, like Lana, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!