Happy Bloomsday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, darlings, I know some of you may not be too literary, but sweeties, can I help that? Nevertheless, this is why you have me to learn from. Today happens to be Bloomsday, which, according to literary history, is the day on which Joyce's magnum opus "Ulysees" takes place. It is set on June 16, 1904. Its protagonist is named Leopold Bloom, hence, Bloomsday. It is also considered the day on which Joyce met the woman who became his wife, Nora Muldoon. Now, Nora was not exactly from Miss Porter's, but she did well by Jimmy from what I have heard, taking good care of him and such, so she should be commended to. Straight people can't help being what they are, darlings, anymore than we can!!!!!!

It is also the day, back in 1968, which becomes increasingly distant, that my sister's oldest--MY ONLY NIECE--Jennifer was born. Why she has not been on the cover of VOGUE I cannot figure out. I am going to have to have a power lunch with Anna to discuss that. Most girls would KILL to have her figure, but what she does not know is--so would her uncle!!!!!!!! So a happy birthday to Jennifer, who keeps turning out books, babies, and whom I am convinced will scale Mount Everest. Or at least the Poconos on a visit back to PA.

Of course, for all my girls, what Bloomsday really means is that today, morning, eve, or whenever, you are naked and supine on your bed with your partner satisfying your most craven desires--Oh, honey!--you recite Molly Bloom's soliloquy from "Ulysees." Or at the very least, the last part--"Yes!" she said, "Yes!" she said, "Yes!" "Yes!" And you make sure you say it at the point of--gasp!--orgasm, darlings!!!! You better believe I plan to.

So drink some Guiness or Bailey's and in the meantime I will be off tonight seeing the Joan Rivers documentary--now THERE is a Molly Bloom for you! Darlings, how many face lifts has she said. Aunt Katie had six, and died in the chair on her final one, but I think even Joan has distanced Aunt Katie!!!!!!! And that is saying something!!!!

Still, wishing all my girls a happy Bloomsday, and remember to soliloquize when you climax, lambs!!!!!!!!!!

Now, if I could just climax with a book deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!