Darlings, You Have No Idea What It Was Like Being Rimmed By A Peacock!!!!!!!!!!

Would I lie to you, girls??? And, no I am NOT into bestialilty. But first predatory lesbians and now lascivious peacocks. WHAT is going on.

Here is what happened. On Memorial Day, Tom, my cherub, and I took a train down to Hamilton Township, to visit our friends Bill and Steven. Oh, Steven, that Vicious Queen!!!! They have the most charming honeymoon cottage in Ewing Township, and you should see their Master Bedroom, dears; it is like a Monument To Love!!!! Happy Little Housewives. Steven made a lovely tomato and Mozarella appetizer, with drinks, salsa and chips, and later delicious hot dogs and burgers, with Bill's homemade potato salad, which outdid anything that dye haired bitch Martha Steward could concoct. At least Bill's hair is all natural!!!!

Well, that afternoon we went to the exqusite Ground Sculpture Garden, not too far from where they live. It was exqusiite; darlings, with the lakeside vistas and the trees pouring out onto the water, I felt like Alice. I kept looking for the White Rabbit and a hole to plunge down. But, hell, I am gay, so I am always looking for holes, anyway. The grounds that this is on used to be the site of the New Jersey State Fair years back. What do I know? For reasons that cannot be explain, several peacocks run freely throughout the gardens. I think they like to show off; because they were loud; the ones down in Johnson Park when I was a child did not make this racket. Well, there was this one bird that just would not leave me alone!!! Everywhere it seemed I was being followed. He keept flashing his tail feathers behind me. And one time he literally, when I was standing still looking at a piece of sculpture, came up behind me, and stuck his beak in an intimate back area that--well, only one person is allowed to go there. But this bird was as bold as brass--like he was trying, I kid you not, to rim me! I am telling you, darlings, this peacock was gay!!!!! And then it was pecking at my shorts--my panties, darlings!--like he wanted to pull them off! Does he think I am THAT cheap???? Indeed.

So I am warning you, if you ever go to these gardens--and I recommend you do--watch out for the peacocks! Or at least this particular one!

Pecking at my panties, indeed! Make sure, girls, that all your panty peckers are by invitation only!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for Miss Poter's!!!!!!

Who knows what is next, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!