Darlings, When You Need Home Repairs, Or A Bridal Planner, Call Meryl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, girls, I am talking about the FABULOUS Meryl Streep, who can do ANYHING! This past weekend I had the coziest, most romantic viewing of "Mamma Mia!" ever, and I am telling you, when you see Meryl fixing the window with the drill and repairing the crack in the ground, well, it outdoes anything a beans n'franks lesbian can do because in the first place Meryl is more accomplished, and of course it almost goes wtihout saying, she is more ATTRACTIVE.

When I saw Meryl with drill, tears welled up in my eyes. And when Amanda Seyried sat in her lap, while Meryl polished her toes....well, all I can say is on MY wedding day, I sure as hell want Meryl there to dress me and polish my toes. Sweeties, I can assure you that when this film was first released, thousands of men all over America wanted Meryl to come to their house and do home repairs. And so did their wives, because Meryl would damn well do a better job than those husbands!!!!! And us girls--and gays--all want Meryl to do us up on our bridal day. "Mamma Mia!" is just SO inspiring. And to add to this, Meryl not only sings but she does a trampoline split on a bed, and a cannonball dive off a pier into an ocean full of water.

And, darlings, when she sings "The Winner Takes It All," tears just came to my eyes, because Meryl takes this song to a level of artistry it has never had before, and never will again. But thank God it had Meryl. And then Meryl runs up those steps to that church above the water, and does not even break a sweat. There is simply no limit.

I mean, when you are a consultant to the Virgin Mary on matters of fashion and world peace, you can see, girls, how important Meryl's job is. It isn't just being the World's Greatest Actress, though she is.

Now, before all of you go out to your hair salons and dress shops and tell your makers, "I want to be MERYL," take a chill pill, darlings, because you can;t. There is only ONE Meryl, and let us thank our stars we have her. Even with a supporting cast that would rival anything on Broadway, MERYL will not be upstaged. Not even by the brilliant art direction. I mean, girls, she enhances it.

So, as soon as I have a date for my wedding, I am calling MERYL. As for home repairs, she is welcome at my door anytime.

Don't tie up that phone trying to reach Meryl, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!