Girls, who would have thought winning an Oscar would make you a bitch? It doesn't, necessarily; I mean, wait till I win mine, do you think I will become a bitch? Any more than I am already????? Well, I really had no plans this week for this column--until Tuesday!!!!! I was working at the desk and in walks this harridan with bottled blonde hair, and this dour expression trying so desperately to pass for imperialistic. When I offered to help her, she made it clear she did not want help--she wanted things HANDED to her, on the proverbial silver platter. I had to do some thinking to realize whom I was dealing with. Darlings, do you know who it was?
It was none other than our winner of this weekd's Raving Queen Bitch of the Week award, and someone I had written about just the day before---Miss Estelle Parsons!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I have already stated my contention that Estelle Parsons, or at least someone close to her, bought her Supporting Actress Oscar back in 1967, because she should never have won for "Bonnie and Clyde,' which, incidentally, lambs--and I could be shot for saying this, but do you think I care?--I consider to be one of the most OVERRATED films ever!!!!!!!!!! I am sure Estelle was better as Roseanne's mother on here show, but sweeties, I never watch White Trash Televison!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, Estelle, was just being, well, Estelle, which is difficult and bitchy, which I have heard about from those who have worked with her. She can't look stuff up, but she can remember the entire text and blocking of a magnum opus like "August:Osage County????" How does she do it? And then to come to me and pull what she pulls.
BUT what Estelle does NOT know is that she was dealing with someone who knows something from her past she would much rather forget. Thirty plus years ago, when a little film called "Friday The 13th" was being planned, Estelle was actually signed to play the psychopathic Mrs. Voorhees. Which would have been interesting, but not too credilbe, because if the film had been done this way, with the jeep pulling up to the cabin, and out pops Estelle, well, you would know from the get go that she was off her rocker!!!!!! Which she seems to be, anyway!!!!!! However, the film had an unusally low budget, so when Miss Parsons found out she was NOT being provided with a limousine--or even a dump truck--to carry her to and from the film's set, she walked out on her contract!!!!! That's right, sweethearts!!!!! And like the child Blanche at the start of 'Baby Jane'--"You bet I WON"T forget!!!!!!!! And that is how history was made for Betsy Palmer, who with her subtlety as an actress was better and more lovable in the role anyway. And who would want an action figure of Estelle???????
Now, Estelle IS a great actress, and even I was impressed by how she cooled it and restrained it in the last revival of "Morning's At Seven," which my father saw with me. But after her behavior not only towards me but to others here, she deserves an iconic place as the Raving Queen's Bitch Of The Week. And this week she assumes that mantle!!!!!!!!!!!
So congrats to Estelle on her coronation!!!!!!!!! And the next time you visit her, take a chill pill, lady, so you can at least act like one.
Just like me and all my lovely girls, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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