The Rapture! The Rapture!

                           Do you believe in the Rapture, darlings???? I actually know  those who  do.  And who am I to deny them their belief--I, whose view of Roman Catholicism comes down to Jennifer Jones in "The Song Of Bernadette," and Sister Camille D'Arienzo!  Also, if you are bad, you end up on Pleasure Island, and turn into a donkey!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I have the right to believe these ideas, just as those do who extol the Rapture. However, I do not force my ideas on others, while those of the Rapture do!  Even if they are just sitting there, smugly, in sanctimonious self-righteous, they are enforcing those ideas!  Passive aggressive bitches!

                            The Rapture folk believe that, sort of like Mary's Assumption, they will go straight to Heaven, while the rest of us are left behind on Earth, to struggle, or whatever.  Girls, I have enough of a struggle with the belief system of these people, OK?  So, why don't they just do us all a favor, by going now!? I would like to see  those I know ascend in front of me, so I can smugly say, "Bye!  Bye!  Have a nice trip!"

                            As for preparation, well, have your belief system in check, but also make sure your wardrobe is by a top designer, and that you moisturize!

                            I want my Rapture to be a huge white staircase, with lavishly costumed chorus girls, like Ziegfeld's follies, or Sondheim's, while offstage, either Dennis Morgan sings "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody," or Roscoe sings "Beautiful Girls," as I ascend those stairs!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Jesus wants you groomed, darlings!  Even Sister Camille knows that, with her elegant earrings!!!!!!!!