Oh, My God! The Spinster Librarian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Libraries, from the twentieth century on up, have become the repositories of spinsters, or unwanted women, just as convents were through the Middle Ages, up to about the end of the nineteenth century.  This particular sub-species of spinster is not only the most pathetic of the lot, but the most embittered; their mission is not  so much to instruct, as to maintain their own self-righteous sense of order.  Like our friend pictured above, they are still everywhere out there...even today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             But let's look at some types!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most famous one of all, unquestionably is the librarian in "Citizen Kane."   The shot is indeed beautiful and haunting, but it says something about the rigidity of what was, at the time a woman's profession. Hell, it is still regarded as such! And look at that thing!  Hair pulled back, not an ounce of femininity showing, only caring about time and how the manuscript is handled, this shot proves this creature could have been head staff guard at Bergen Belsen!  And, from the time I first saw this shot, I swore that this was filmed at the New York Public Library, on Forty Second Street. I wouldn't doubt it, darlings!!!!!!!  Things have not changed all that much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, let's talk about probably the most famous example of all--the alternate Mary Hatch (Donna Reed) in Frank Capra's 1946 Christmas classic, "It's A Wonderful Life."  This is the quintessential embarrassment of all time.  Mary fails to get married, without George, so the only thing she can become is a librarian!  Not only that, she is mousy, paranoid, afraid of people, let alone men, and has no style. They still walk the earth, darlings, only not in such abundant supply.  Well, maybe out in the Midwest.  Mary's transformation is the greatest reason I always wanted to be Violet Bick.  Better a trollop than a librarian!  Especially when you can look like Gloria Grahame, to boot!!!!!  And Donna should know--she got her chance, and an Oscar, seven years later,  in 1953, with "From Here To Eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now, Miss Burton is a much different proposition; a 1950s prototype.  She is self-righteous and severe, but, unlike generations before her, she does have a life.  She goes home, feeds her cat, and then, with the curtains drawn and in total secrecy, sips cheap wine, and scratches her clit, while reading "The Story Of O."  At least, she has something to look forward to, after work!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The last member of this species is male, because I wanted to show this type exists in men, as well.  In some ways, he is the worst.  I call him the Pedant, and what he does is not so much help, as browbeat readers.  Let's face it, we all get exasperated with human stupidity, and we may have our fantasies of what we would say, but only the Pedant says it--calculatingly, callously, and in a way that hurts the feelings and dignity of whomever he comes in contact with. Who you can be sure will never go to him again. But, then I have his number, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                First, of all, this guy is a closet homosexual.  You can tell because he is out of step with the times, feeling he has to dress like Franklin Pangborn, instead of a modern day gay man. He also thinks this will convince others he is straight, but he is not kidding anyone.  Like Miss Burton, he has his after work release, but he is still deluding himself--he sips dry sherry, while on clean sheets and, jerks off while reading "My Secret Life" by Anonymous, feeling that by reading a male-female encounter, he is straight.  He does not realize that what he is doing is blocking out the female, and identifying only with the sexual feelings of the man to get him off.  His actual textual mantra is "...And Ladies Of The Club," by Helen Hooven Santmyer.  Only, he has no idea he is a member!!!!!!  No wonder he is so bitter the
next day!  This guy desperately needs to go Cruisin' For A Bruisin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Who thought this would turn out to be what it did!  I plan to discuss New Age and Millennial Spinsters and Librarians in the near future!  It should be a hoot!

                                   You're overdue, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!