What Does A Spinster Look Like?

                            The word almost makes one gag, or recoil in horror--"spinster!"--a term synonymous with failure.  Over the years, spinsters have been a strong force in dramatic and screen literature.  Let us take a look at a few, and see how they have evolved.

                              From the above, the more polite euphemism, popular from the Thirties through the Fifties was "career girl," or "career woman."  These were women who had made up their mind they were not going to marry, or did not want to, so, instead, they gave their lives over to their jobs.  The practice still exists today, except it is not just spinsters who are susceptible; the workplace would like that of everyone!  Fuck that!

                                    Then, there is the "sexually repressed" spinster, embodied by two of American  folklore's most famous American characters, Miss Almira Gulch, from "The Wizard Of Oz," and Lizzie Borden.  The one was a Kansas farm woman, who owned half the county, hated children and dogs, and morphed into an evil witch when Dorothy dreamed her.  See what virginity got her?  But, let's face it, she was not much to look at. But, neither was Lizzie, who did  not even have a career, but lived with her parents--as many of that era did--waiting for some man to come along. But, hons, what chance did she have?  No wonder she took an ax to Mommy and Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Next, we have the Campy Spinster, epitomized by Bette Davis as Charlotte Vale, in "Now, Voyager."  Not that Charlotte was not sympathetic; it is just the make-up and costume departments at Warner's went overboard to frump up Bette.  I mean, look at those eyebrows!  No spinster has such things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   My favorite, and most heartbreaking, spinster, is the One Who Tries Too Hard.

This was played out so brilliantly by Judith Evelyn as Miss Lonelyhearts in Alfred Hitchcock's 1954 classic, "Rear Window." She would gussie herself up after work, clean the house, prepare a gourmet meal, receive a gentleman caller, for what she hoped was a nice, romantic evening--only to be pawed and pummeled by some man desperate for sex.  It is love these types want, not knowing it does not come from the outward, but the inner recesses of the human heart that two individuals sense.  I know,

because I used to be this very type, until I wised up and found love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The value of learning through experience, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           That's it for spinsterhood, in general, darlings!  But, there is one subspecies I will save for its own special post--the spinster librarian!  Oh, my God, those crazy bitches, they'll never be tramps!  What a hoot!  Just wait!  Maybe it will go viral!

                                            In the meantime girls, go easy on yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!