Friday, June 21, 2013

"Let Us Pray That We're Not Getting Married Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                             "Bless this great pinnacle of Life,
                                              Husband joined to wife,
                                              The heart leaps up to behold,
                                              This golden day!"
                                               ----"Getting Married Today" from "Company,"
                                                       by Stephen Sondheim

                                      No, girls, this is not any kind of preview exclusive to my wedding; I am still waiting for the ring, the gown, the venues for the ceremony and the reception.  Not to mention the Honeymoon--though I have one idea--on a plantation down in New Orleans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        But that's for me, (and Monsieur, of course!!!!!!!) this is now!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Remember me writing, last week, about those two, precious children, Ramona Ponce, and Eric Mueller????????  Who live way up town, in the Dunbar?????  I told you girls there would be more about them on here, and this is it!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I have just found out, from unnamed sources, that Ramona and Eric are........married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, to each other?????????  Can you believe it , darlings?????????

                                           Even more, I know exactly what you are thinking--

                                           "Well, what do they............?

                                           " Do they actually...............?

                                            "How do they....................?

                                              I have no answers for you, dears. And this is certainly not something I want to entertain.  But I do need to ask one, absolutely fundamental question--

                                               How many bathrooms do they have in that apartment????????

                                                This is absolutely crucial!!!!!!!!  A man and a woman, even under the best of circumstances, can NOT share a bathroom.  I mean, a woman would never share with a straight man, anyway.  The women have too much sense, especially after what the bathroom looks like after the guy gets through with it!

                                                  Two gay men sharing a bathroom can be done, but it can be a bitch, let me tell you!!!!!!!!!!!  As for two lesbians....... I suppose it is possible, but I wouldn't hazard a guess.

                                                    But a woman and a gay man?????????  Because, let me tell you, there is no doubt in MY mind that sweet, little Eric Mueller is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He may not have ever seen the cast album cover of the defunct Carol Burnett musical, "Fade Out, Fade In", (because he is much too young for that experience) but you damn well better believe he knows his Dolce from his Gabbana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      When it comes to beauty products, gay men outdo women in that department, loves!!!!!!!!!  Creams, unguents, moisturizers, deodorant, sun block, baby and skin lotion....just about everything but tampons, though, let me tell you, darlings, I have known some guys in my time who could have benefited from them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          I mean, just imagine!  Or don't!  Not that I am not happy for Ramona and Eric; they are so sweet together, and besides, I cannot wait to get them over to our place.  I have got to talk fabrics and color with Ramona, for my wedding gown, while I need to cajole Eric into accepting the offer of a lifetime--working for Monsieur and I, the two most easy going queens on the planet, or, at least, this side of the Hudson, as a factotum valet, concierge, personal assistant!!!!!!!!!!  I am sure Eric would just be thrilled and honored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          So, I will inform you all of future developments.  But, really, they are just the most charming duo!!!!!!!!!  Impeccable manners, darling, which counts for something today, I can assure you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            Besides, they not only knew that Dorothy Dandridge had, at one time, lived in the Dunbar, they knew who Dorothy Dandridge was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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